Most mornings, I would wake up and work really hard all morning to get all of my "chores" done and even get dinner going. I would literally try to accomplish all necessary tasks before lunch so that after lunch, when the girls (at the time, I only had 2) would take their nap, I could do whatever I wanted and not feel guilty. Most of the time, this is when I would sit and work on a craft, read a book for pure enjoyment or even occasionally watch a TV show while perusing Facebook. It was MY time to do whatever I wanted and it kind of gave me a restart.
Well...that has all changed...especially this year...and I didn't see it coming! Over the last 2 years, I have obviously added 2 more children to the family, the two oldest no longer nap, I am homeschooling and I have more house to clean and more people to feed.
For a big part of this school year, I was still trying to [unsuccessfully] attain this goal each day. I was getting a bit frustrated as I had grown accustomed to having "me" time each day. Even when Keira and Libby stopped napping and I had Janessa, I still managed to squeak in minutes of relaxing down time because of my girls awesome ability to play quietly together and my great sleeper of a baby.
So this year, having the goal to really work on this blog in the afternoons during "my" time, I was really getting frustrated.
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When I wake up the morning, my time is theirs. None of them are really old enough to be completely self-sufficient though I know that time is coming. They need me...
...and it's wonderful.
Often, we don't even get around to doing Kindergarten until my two little ones are napping and that's ok. Often, I can't even get dinner started before Tom walks in the door, because I need to feed Levi right at that time. I spend time in the morning, afternoon and evening doing LOTS of dishes only to do it all again tomorrow. I can clean the Kitchen, the dining room, the playroom and the living room only to have to immediately start over again because the mess has reappeared
This is my job and I love it. This is what God called me to. Now I am trying to wake up each morning to whatever faces me with a new understanding that I am called to something higher than having "me" time. I get to spend my day being a servant of God, shaping the lives of my four little blessings!
So inspiring, thank you! This was a good reminder for where my focus should be.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure that I think the opposite of servanthood is laziness. I would suppose it to be selfishness. That said, your post rang true with me because I desperately want my "Me Time". By that I mean that I want Quiet, which is why I still try to have seven children take a two hour rest time every day. That said, there are always a dozen reasons why the house does not achieve Quiet. Well, seven reasons. :) I am trying to learn the lesson you've already mastered, recognizing that my children are my God-appointed work - and that they are going to grow up and leave before I know it! I practice saying "This is a privilege" when I change diapers and let a grumpy toddler out of his room to make dinner prep difficult. :)
ReplyDeleteOh Tara, I definitely don't think that lazy and servant are opposites and I absolutely agree that my desire for "me" time is 100% selfish here too...If we hadn't been very limited in bedroom space, all of mine would have kept up with nap time as well! Unfortunately we got out of the habit and I can't seem to re-start it at the moment! haha. AND oh my, I should edit this post if you think I have mastered this concept! haha....I am justs trying to remember this concept every time I wish that all the "work" was done!
ReplyDeleteOops, I didn't meant to suggest you are selfish, by the way. :) I was mentally defending you for wanting some well-earned time of your own. Which led me to self-examination. :)
ReplyDeleteNapping spaces are definitely an issue here, as well! I know how all that goes! Anyway, your post was an encouragement to me. So, thanks!