The day I finally lost it!

Have you ever had a day when you thought you literally just couldn't take it anymore? That was me a couple of days ago.

It's funny because I still cannot pinpoint what the problem was exactly.

Maybe it was coming off of a week where my sister and her awesome family had been in town visiting and we had gone from fun every day to feeling a bit shut in with a sick 2 year old.

Maybe it is my subconscious knowing that we are starting homeschooling up again next week and that summer will officially be over?

Maybe it is the fact that I put a lot of pressure on myself to make things perfect in my life which of course I fail at completely.

The kids weren't listening. I couldn't stay on top of the house cleaning. Life is busy and Tom can't use any vacation until at least December (with a new job that we are so blessed with!).

All I do know for sure is that they other day, I was ready to quit! Seriously. I was ready to find a job, find childcare and enroll the older two in school rather than continuing with the home school route God has clearly called our family to.

I have an amazing husband who is forever patient with me when I have days like this but I cannot expect him to fill me up. I cannot expect that the kids will be perfect and that will keep me content. I cannot even expect that if the house was perfectly clean, I would be happy.

I ended up spending a great deal of time in prayer (eh hem...probably should have done that sooner) and then reading my Bible.

Of course that always helps but then I picked up a book that I love to turn to by Lysa TerKeurst. Sometimes it is scary to me how much I can relate to this woman but what I love is that I am always pointed to scripture that really speaks to my heart. I highly recommend this book to any mom!


Psalm 73:26

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of 

my heart and my portion forever."

This is a verse that I NEED to live by! I can read the Bible every day and spend time in prayer but if I am not allowing the Lord to be my portion and fill me up, than I will never be full and I will always feel unsatisfied. 

I can have every good intention to get up before the kids and spend time with God but the reality is, it doesn't always happen. Sometimes they wake up earlier than expected. Or I didn't sleep well...or...well...the snooze bar looks too appealing, haha. 

What I do know is that I need to let God fill me up completely, not the things in this world. I need to wake up each day and say. "Lord, be my portion today. When my flesh and heart fail, be the strength of my heart."

Will you do this with me?

(Photo Credit)

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