Here I am 16 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. Most would not realize that I would have any parenting "issues" left that I wasn't sure about but they would be wrong.
When I was pregnant with Keira (my oldest), I really took things for granted. I did all of the things that I was supposed to do. I took a breastfeeding class (because of course I would nurse my child), I did all of the childbirth classes. I got the great pump that would allow me to have a sitter sometimes and let daddy feed her. I was psyched. I never imagined that it just wouldn't work.
When Keira was born, there were a multitude of things that just work right. First of all, she had NO desire to latch on or be at the breast in ANY position. Second, my anatomy (I will not go into detail here) did not do what it was supposed to do and Third, I was barely producing anything.
I tried. I cried. I met with 3 lactation consultants who couldn't help me. I met with someone from le leche league who couldn't help me. After 4 weeks the pediatrician said to me while I was bawling my eyes out, "Your baby needs to grow. She needs to eat and we have formula that will help her do that." He told me that while of course most pediatricians recommend breastfeeding, his own wife could not nurse their first child. She could with their second. It was like a world of relief flooded over me.
But...I never felt more judged by many people around me for the decision to feed my baby formula. You would have thought I was abusing her.
What do we all want as parents? We want the best for our children. We want them to grow and thrive and be healthy.
When I had Libby, we started down the same path as with Keira. After 2 weeks, we switched to formula...never looking back.
Then came Janessa. While I was pregnant with her, I did a TON of research. I found out that there were things I could do while I was pregnant that would really help when it came time to feed her. I did all that I could do. I prayed and I hoped that this third child would come out and be able to nurse (because come on people...formula is expensive!).
Well...Janessa came out wanting to nurse. She was ready and so was my body. And one of the first things the nurse said was:
"She has a cleft palate so she can't nurse"
WHAT!
Come on Lord, is this a joke?
NOPE.
So...here I am, pregnant with number 4. Hopeful that we won't be shelling out the bucks for formula next fall, I am praying and preparing myself to try once again. But...at this point, it is out of convenience more than anything else. I would love to not have to buy the formula or realize that the can is empty and run to the store at midnight or forget a bottle when I go somewhere. It would be nice to just have a supply of food on myself at all times.
But if something happens and this baby cannot nurse....It'll be ok. We live in a time where we have another option. I don't need a wet nurse. My baby will live and thrive with or without breastmilk.
My plea for you all is to be sensitive about this subject. You do NOT know their story. You do NOT know how hard some of them tried. You do NOT know what their reason is.
In no way does it mean any mother loves their child less.
When you look at at class of Kindergartners or high school graduates, can you tell which ones were offered bottle or breast? No.
Let's stop judging each other and be parents together. Let's love and teach our kids about the things that matter in life and not worry about how we choose to feed our children or discipline them or whether or not we have our kids on a set schedule.....Let's just love each other in the way that God wants us to.
Good post! I like it.
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