To be Disciplined

As I have been reading everyones hopes and resolutions for 2016, I have been asking the Lord to show me what He wants me to focus on this year.

I don't really do resolutions. For me, resolutions have always been something that I started January 1st and by the middle of January, I failed.

I don't want a resolution. I want a focus.

So, as I prayed, and thought, and thought, and prayed a little more, it came to me.

Discipline.

It is something I have truly lacked in my life, despite my deisre to be a disciplined person. Hence, my resolutions always failing, ha ha.

I have always admired when others were able to really stick to their goals, sometimes, seemingly wtihout it even being hard for them. (Though, I know that is likely not true.)

I have great ideas. Purposes for doing things. I am a fantastic list maker. I can look around my house and tell you exactly what needs to be done and how to do it. This quote really says how I feel.

I have the dream....just not the discipline.

First and foremost, I want to be disciplined in not only my household "duties" but in my spiritual walk with God. With my kids. With homeschooling. With exercising. With loving people around me. With following through on what I know needs to get done.

Funny story: Last week, I was praying for my two oldest girls at their bedtime. I prayed something about helping us to be more disciplined. The next night, as I was driving Keira, my  seven (and-a-half) year old home from dance class, she says, "Mom, why did you pray last night that we would be punished?" It took me a minute to figure out what she meant and then I just laughed out loud.  It was a bit hard to explain.

But, isnt' it so true that discipline is really what keeps us from needing "punishment"? Even as adults. I truly don't believe that God punishes us. I definitely feel that anything bad in our life comes from Satan himself, but we do get "punished" by our own consequences when we are not disciplined in certain areas of our life.

Discpline....so important.

I can't fail at this by mid January because this is a focus. It's not a diet. It's not a program. I hope for it to be the focus of my life this year and the rest of my life!

What's your "thing" this year?

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Five Minute Friday: Choose

Today's word for 5 minute Friday is Choose...so here goes my five minutes of unedited writing!

When I think of the word Choose, I am reminded that it is in almost every moment that I make a choice. We choose how we spend our moments. We choose each thing we say to our children. We choose every food we put in our mouths. We choose what attitude we will have about the circumstances before us. We choose how we will see other people. 

On the days that I am consumed with things like a clean house, perfect children, a good attitude, what I eat, self-pity, and the like, I fail over and over again. Because we simply cannot accomplish it all. 

What we need to do is wake up every morning and choose Jesus. 

Photo Credit

Yes, all of those other things are all good and not bad things at all to do  in our lives, but as mommy's, I think we tend to become consumed in them....and then, we are really doing no one, including ourselves, our husbands or our children, any favors. 

So join me, in trying harder to wake up and choose Jesus each day. On the days that I consciously do this, I find that I am a more content person and all of that other stuff falls into place. 

Linked up here with Five Minute Friday

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Teaching little girls

Happy New Year all!

It's that time again. You know, that time when we all say that we are going to change something drastically in our lives, call it a new years resolution and by February, we don't even remember what it was! haha.

I am not doing that...I never really do, but I am determined to work on something this year. More of a focus than a resolution. I would like to choose something each year to just kind of work on and make more of a strong presence in our lives. This year, I really want to focus on teaching my girls about modesty. Obviously, this is something that can't be taught in one lesson and it will be something that continues for years to come...I get that!

1 Timothy 2:9-10
"I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

I feel very strongly that this is something that we need to teach our girls from a very young age or it will be super hard later on. Just like any other good habit, they should be in the habit of dressing appropriately.

When I look to the future, I think about how I want them to be perceived by young men and then by the man they will someday marry.

There is always that classic TV show where the teenage daughter comes downstairs dressed in something tight and revealing and the father says, "young lady, go upstairs and put on a different outfit...you are NOT leaving the house dressed like that". While that is all good and everything, I would LOVE to see my daughters choose the right outfit first. (And also...someone had to buy those inappropriate clothes?!?!?!?!?)

So, the question now is, how? How do I teach my girls that their body is a gift from God. How do I teach them in a loving way (and a way that is appropriate for a 5, 4 and 1 year old) that God made male's different than females and dressing inappropriately can cause their brother to stumble? How can I teach them that just because a certain shirt looks great on them, doesn't' mean that they should wear it?

I mean...aren't these lessons that most of us adults could stand to hear too?

When I walk into the store these days, I am shocked by the number of clothes in my daughters sizes that I would never allow them to wear. They are drawn to the sparkles, glitter, bows and fun things on the clothing but do not yet know the importance of how they should dress themselves.

I want them to understand that they can dress nicely, and even be in style, all while glorifying God.

So, anyways...this has been a lot of rambling but this will be my focus this year...so that it is a great habit to continue teaching in the years to come.

I would love to hear any comments below on how you walk this path with your own daughters!

Grace flows down

I have been trying to put into words how I have been feeling lately. Overwhelmed is an understatement. I am still adjusting to so many aspects in our lives. Having a 4th child. having a 19 month old who looks for trouble...for real...she does. Moving in 2 weeks. Having a husband who is out of the home a LOT very suddenly...doing things that he needs to do right now which will benefit the whole family. It's all good...it's just a lot.

I am blessed that when the hubby is here, he is a hands on daddy. Last weekend, he allowed me the time to go and hear Lysa Terkheurst speak. For those of you who do not know who she is, she is an author and works with Proverbs 31 ministries. I have read a few of her books and am now currently reading "Am I messing up my kids" by her. It is hilarious and so full of God's truth.

I digress. Lately, I just felt completely crazy. I feel pulled in every direction and have really been having a hard time with discipline in our home. The kids are still adjusting to not having daddy home all of the time too and it is hard. Sometimes, I feel like going into the bathroom (only room with a lock) and just staying in there all day. No worries...I don't! In fact, I usually don't even get to shower or use the bathroom by myself these days! haha.

So, tonight, as I was doing the dishes and listening to worship music, Keira decided to climb INTO the refrigerator...yes...into the fridge! Why...I will never know, but of course she fell out...landed on the floor (she was fine) and I lost it. I should add that this came after Libby fell down the stairs because she was climbing on the railing and Levi pooped all over himself, his clothes and the car seat. Yep, just one of those days....but seriously I just started crying. And then I started praying. and then I started singing along with the music on the radio.

After about 10 minutes, I heard a quiet voice say.."mommy, can I get out of time out yet". Ooops!
We talked together and we prayed together and I apologized for screaming at her.

I know that this won't be the last time that I feel bad for the way I react to her but as I went back to washing the dishes, a song came on that spoke volumes to me.

Grace Flows Down. I highly recommend listening to it. But  the words are so simple and true. His grace covers us. We do not have to be perfect. We just need Jesus. We need to be so full of Jesus that is spills out of us. But when we do mess up or have a bad day, a bad attitude or just plain don't like the cards we've been dealt that day, we have Grace. It covers us. And I am so thankful for that.


Amazing Grace 
How sweet the sound 
Amazing Love 
Now flowing down 
From hands and feet 
That were nailed to the tree 
As Grace flows down and covers me 
Chorus 
It covers me 
It covers me 
It covers me 
And covers me

Faithful God

On Sunday, we sang the song "Faithful God" at church as part of worship and it just reminded me of just how faithful our God really is. If you don't know it, I urge you to listen to the words. Every time we sing it, It just makes me so grateful for all that our amazing Lord does for us.

This past year has been especially crazy for our family. Tom lost his job, Janessa had surgery, I was pregnant and so many other things were happening at the same time, and now....looking back, it is just amazing to see how God had a great plan for us and we are so much better off with His plan that our plan would have been.

In a few weeks, we will be moving to a new home and I cannot wait to post pictures of the before and afters and give a few more details on how this all came about but for now, I will leave you with a link to this song and urge you to listen and think about how Faithful God has been in your life through the situations that you thought would be impossible.

The truth about Parenting

I have three words that describe to me the truth about parenting.

It is HARD!

My days have become non-stop. I realize that I have a newborn and this is normal but even that aside, it seems like when he does not need me, someone else does. 

I LOVE them so much more than I could have ever imagined being able to love and with each child, the love just continues to multiply. 

But some days, I want to give up. 

When people pull me aside and tell me that We are doing a great job with our kids, I want to laugh and cry all at the same time! Do I sound crazy?!?!?!

The thing is, I know that I am not alone. I know that MOST parents feel this way. 

Kids have definitely taught me that being sinful is not something that is taught but comes completely naturally to us. We spend our days teaching our children to do the right thing..hoping and praying that they will...and sometimes they do...and sometimes they don't. 

It never ceases to amaze me how many precious moments I can have with my children each day and yet in the same day how many moments I have that I just want to lock myself in the bathroom (only room with a lock in our house) and turn on the water so I can't hear them. 

I struggle with being "gentle" with my children. Now...please don't take that the wrong way, I don't beat them or anything, just mean having a gentle demeanor. I want my girls to grow up to be ladies. I want them to be treated like ladies and I want my son to know how to cherish and really care for his future wife. But lately, I have felt so out of control. 

I am completely and totally looking forward to going to see Lysa TerKeurst talk about her book "Unglued" in early November...because that is exactly how I feel right now on a daily basis. 

You might ask what my purpose in writing this post was...well...maybe it is for you, and maybe it is for someone else, but I just want the other mommies who are feeling crazy sometimes to know that they are not alone.  

Romans 8:28 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

God's Timing

Over the years I have learned (usually the hard way) about how my timing and God's timing don't always line up....I have also always learned that His is better! God never ceases to amaze me with how perfect His timing really is.

On Tuesday, I went for my 28 week check up and also had to do my 1 hour glucose test. For those of you who might not know, it is a routine blood test done on pregnant women to test for Gestational Diabetes.

While I was sitting in the lab waiting for them to do my blood draw (they make you drink this disgusting drink and then draw blood exactly one hour later), a woman came in and sat next to me in the waiting room. Normally, I keep to myself in these situations and just play a game on my phone or read a magazine or something, but she started talking to me.

She asked if I was having my first. Of course I laughed and had to say, "No, this is my fourth". Well, she immediately opened up to me. She shared with me that was very early on in her pregnancy (6 weeks ish) and that she was having a lot of pain so they were doing tests to find out why. They had told her that she may be having an ectopic pregnancy (meaning the baby was growing in the Fallopian tube rather than the Uterus.

I tried to calm her down a little. With it being her first pregnancy, I just said stuff like, "Everyone has a different normal", "I know other that have had a lot of pain and even bleeding and everything was fine", "all of my pregnancies have been so different", and to try not to worry too much before they confirm anything...then you will know if you even have anything to worry about.

At that point I got called back and by the time I was done, she was gone.

I was so mad at myself. Why, oh why didn't I offer to pray for her....with her?

Why wasn't that the first thing that came to my mind. Why did I have to think of it after it was too late?!?!

Well...I did pray for my nameless friend. I prayed for her a LOT through the course of Tuesday and Wednesday.

Wednesday afternoon, my doctors office called to tell me that my glucose test came back too high and I would need to go back for a more accurate 3 hour test.

REALLY...come on! I had to do this with Libby too and everything was normal.

This was NOT one of the things that I worried about in my "Third Trimester Letter"!

Oh well...

So I scheduled my appointment for the following morning (I'd rather know sooner than later if I should be doing things differently).

and there I sat at 8:30 Thursday morning, to be in the lab for 3 hours! Had to drink the nasty drink again...this time on an empty stomach...so gross!

At 10:30....she walked in. The random girl I had been fervently praying for. She immediately came over to me (after checking in) and told me she needed more blood work and that the ultrasound had been fine. Baby was in fact, in the right place, with a heartbeat!

I almost cried for her and I was able to share with her that I had been praying for her ever since we had met on Tuesday.

She was so thankful and we had a great conversation.

I may never see her again. I may never know where her heart lies spiritually, but I know that God gave me that second chance to see her for a reason. I still don't have the results of my test (probably Monday) but I don't even care anymore. I will deal with whatever I have to deal with to keep this baby healthy and strong but I got to share God's love with someone.

so...why are we so scared at times to talk to people? To pray with people? To bring up the Lord in a situation where we don't know the other person's heart.

Does it even matter? Isn't it the most important thing we can do?

What on Earth are we so afriad of when we know that God has complete control over every situation?

I urge you to be bold for the Lord, Share His love. You may never know who God has reached through you!

A Crazy, Beautiful Weekend

Last weekend, our church did a Passion Play. Basically a recreation of Christ's life, death and resurrection. It was a full costume musical and it was a blast! We did this last year as well, but since I was giving birth to Janessa, I obviously was not a part of it...though Tom was.

This year, we were both able to be in it. Tom was John the Baptist and I was actually a mocker of Jesus. (gasp!) In huge part because we live so close to family who were graciously willing to watch them during all of the rehearsal hours! We so appreciate that.

Anyways, the week of dress rehearsals started off  crazy with people from the cast coming down with colds and the stomach bug! Ugh.

I completely attribute this to Satan trying to get in the way of something that God was doing. And, of course, God won. All were able to be in the show that were supposed to be and it went great.

People came to know the Lord. People recommitted their lives and overall, God used our church to present the gospel to people who needed it.

Which brings me to my favorite part...

Keira...our almost 5 year old (she reminds me of that often), wanted to watch this year. Her best bud got to be in it because she is already 5 and Keira wanted to see it all. So, Friday night, there she sat with my mom and family in the second row.

I had fully prepared her for what she would see acted out in front of her and wanted her to understand that while these things really did happen, Eric, who was playing Christ, was not actually going to die.

I wanted her to understand that while mommy was playing  a bad guy and yelling mean things at Jesus, that in real life, I love Him.

Apparently I scared her.

Through the entire first act, every time the lights went down, she asked my mom if this was where he was doing to die. She was scared to see it. When at one point she said, "I think I'm going to die", my mom took her down to childcare which was fine with me. At 4 years old, I figured she did not need to see it. Us telling her the story is enough.

Well...then Saturday night came around. She wanted to see it again....and this time she was determined to watch Jesus die.

So, there she sat, towards the back with Tom's mom and family. And she sat (or stood on her chair) through the entire thing (over 2 hours) without a peep!

She cried when Jesus died.

She cried tears of joy when he rose again.

She raised her hand when the pastor gave an alter call at the end.

At first, I didn't take this completely seriously. I thought she was cute and I was happy that she understood the meaning of the play but on the way home she explained in an almost 5 year old way, that she understood. And she did for the most part.

She has genuinely changed her demeanor and is trying to do things for the right reasons.

This mama is happy.

Here are  a few pictures...most of which I stole from my friends facebook page of our show!

Our worship Pastor Mike, Tom as John the Baptist in the middle, with Eric who played Jesus.

Our Nephew Bryce

Jesus and a Pharisee (in real life they are father/son!)

Libby singing Jesus Loves Me in the dressing room after one of the shows!

Mike and Chris (worhip pastor and his beautiful wife...also good friends of ours...but this guy put this entire thing together!)

A group of the fun kids that were in the show!

A picture I took of Tom and me on my phone at dress rehearsal. This was after his John the baptist scene when he became the apostle Andrew. 

It was a completely exhausting, completely crazy and completely beautiful weekend!

Five Minute Friday: Rest

I am teaming up with Five Minute Friday and today the topic is "Rest". So...the deal is to write for 5 minutes on the word and then stop...no editing or re-writing...here goes.


Rest

Lately I have been feeling like I can never get enough rest. Let's be honest. I have 3 girls 4 and under and another little something on the way. I am tired. I have an awesome hubby who often deals with kids that wake up in the night because he doesn't want to wake me. (And apparently I could sleep through a Hurricane right now). But...I am tired.

If I am honest, it isn't a sleep issue. It is a chaos issue. I need to find rest in the Lord. I need to cast my anxieties on Him and focus. I know that is the need, but that doesn't make it easy.

Our life is filled with wonderful things. I don't think we are too busy and I don't think we aren't doing enough. It feels balanced and good.

But still...I need to not just sleep, I need to rest in God.

I need to take time out from my little projects and such and just spend some time, even a few minutes here and there, just letting God be God in my life. Only focused on Him.

That would be rest.

That would be the rest that I need.

Walk Without Fear

Each week, the girls and I attend Community Bible Study in our area. If you have never heard of it before, I highly recommend getting acquainted! I won't go into all of the details of it now but it is an amazing place to go in depth with the word of God and the children't program is incomparable to anything I have seen elsewhere. Ok...that was my plug for that, however, not my point.

 Currently, we are studying 1 Samuel and this past weeks lesson focused on David and Goliath (chapters 17-18). When I first saw that this was going to be the lesson, I definitely though to myself, "aw man...I already know this story so well". We read this story multiple times a week at the request of my children and growing up in the church, I just felt like there wasn't going to be anything "new" for me to learn.

I love when I am wrong because GOD is right!

Oh how He knows what I need to hear, when I need to hear it!

I won't go into details right this minute but over the last 2 months, our lives have changed drastically. In a good way...but not a "normal" way. I will blog more about this soon, I promise.

There is just a LOT going on. There are things we are trying to start up and things that we are trying to say goodbye to. A lot of change. For me, change can mean fear. A fear that ends up stopping me from doing anything at all. Like the Israelite's. They had to face this huge giant. I can't say that I wouldn't have been scared too. Then, this little shepherd boy comes along and just does it. Not because he feels powerful or because he even thinks that he has the ability to do it on his own. David goes up against Goliath because God has promised to be with them.

1 Samuel 17:37: "The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine." 

God has promised to keep the Israelites safe and has already followed through. David just saw it as plain as day and just stepped out in faith and defeated Goliath and the Philistines in nothing short of a miracle. God fought this battle for him and David knew that He would.

When God has called us to something, we need to just step out and go for it. There is nothing to be afraid of. Even if the situation seems HUGE and unbeatable, we need to obey God and just do it.

What is your Giant? What is stopping you today?

My friend, pray about it. Has God called you to this? Is is something that Would please Him? If He is calling you to do something, do it.

Join me!


Here is a song that I love the words to....you may have heard it. He loves us. He will never let us go.