Writing through the Bible

Back in February I accepted a challenge to write out scriptures each day of the month that had to do with Love. The link is here. It was life changing. Now, I will say that I enjoy writing. Not just writing as in coming up with words, but writing as in hand writing things. Most of time it is much more practical to type (which I also enjoy) but when I took this challenge, it really made me think.

I have been reading the Bible for my entire life. Although I have never managed to read it from front to back, I am sure that I have read the entire Bible in some order. However, I have often read entire chapters without really stopping to think about what I had read. So, when I had to write out each word of these scriptures, it really gave me time to think and mull over each word that God gives to us. I was able to really pray and think about each word.

So I made a decision. I started in Genesis a few weeks ago and will continue as long as it takes to write out the entire Bible. Yes, I know this sounds crazy and I anticipate it taking several years. But I can only imagine how valuable it will be for me.

Today I am in Genesis 11 and I can already see a huge difference in how I am able to think about and pray about these chapters that I have read so many times in my life.

I don't have a real purpose in writing this other than to hold myself accountable to it. Maybe every once in a while I will share something I have thought about differently or something the Lord is teaching me. For now though, maybe it's just to challenge you to come up with a way to read the Bible in  way that will change your heart. A way that will open your eyes to new things and let Him change you through it.

Have a blessed day!

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Praying With a Broken Heart

Our home bible study group is going through a Bible study on Prayer right now. It is very interesting and amazing how sometimes something as simple as praying can make us so uncomfortable and so vulnerable at times.

Last night, one of the things that we talked about was how we can pray for the things going on around us. When we don't know what to pray about, it can be as simple as reading the newspaper headlines, or walking around our neighborhood and praying for things we see. Someone also brought up the quote, "Break my heart for what breaks yours." I have heard this a million times but I just never really thought about it in terms of my prayer life.

I am often saddened by the news, worried about the world, hopeful for my children's futures...etc. But, I really don't think I have ever let God "break my heart" like his is broken from all of my sins, and the awful sinful things happening today around the world.

So last night, I decided before going to sleep (at some horribly late hour might I add), that I would look at the news with new eyes and pray for the things happening around me. I wanted to pick something local, something nationwide, and something international and pray with my heart broken for the people.

Oh my.

What a night in the news. I was only on my phone for 15 seconds and had seen three different stories that took me down hard!

A local family who had fallen into a ravine at a State Park a bit south of us....and while five people had been pulled to safety, their two young boys, ages 6 and 9 were not found. 

A mass shooting in Orlando, Florida where over 50 people were killed and more than 50 others injured.

And horrible news about the suffering that is happening in Syria. 

We are tempted at times to turn away, not look at the pictures. But, somtimes it takes looking at those pictures and trying to put yourself there to let your heart be broken for the people in all of these places.

These stories could involve topics that we all may disagree on politically and the reality is, it doesn't matter what you think about homosexuality, or muslims, or ISIS, or gun control, or war, or what families choose to do on their Saturday. People are hurting and these are all people that God created. He loves them. We need to love them.

These are only three of the headlines that I saw as I skimmed articles last night and prayed, and prayed, and prayed  while I let God break my heart in a small sampling of a way that his is broken with each of these things.

Get on your knees. Pray alone, Pray with others. Gather together. We live in a time and place where, at the moment, we are still free to do that.

Surround these people with God's grace, His mercy, His love, His comfort and His care.

Let your heart be broken and know that each and every prayer is heard.

And, when your kids ask what those pictures are on the phone, computer, and TV. Don't just shrug them off. (I am also not telling you to try to let young children see and hear things that they cannot deal with on purpose...but it happens) Teach them to pray. And if they are scared, share this quote from Mr. Rogers that I have seen flying around on Facebook.

Because....there are a lot of evil things going on in the World today...and there always have been. But, there can be a lot of good too. 

So join with me and pray. Pray for the things we see going on around us. Pray for the people affected whether you know them or not. And let Jesus break your heart and heal it in a way that only He could possibly do. 

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By Your Side...Even When We Fail.

This was a rough week for so many reasons. I won't go into any details but as you can imagine, life with 4 little ones, a husband who has a new job and can never take time off, not too many breaks....and because I am human, with human husband and four little human children! I definitely failed this week on so many levels. 

But this song just kept me going. It seemed to come on the radio every time I needed to hear it....and it got stuck in my head. So, I thought I'd share. 

I love the way that I can imagine Jesus talking to me. Lifting up my face. Reminding me that I cannot run or hide. He is enough. I need to stop fighting His hands that are holding me and when I do. Oh how life improves! 

By Your Side--Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away 

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching
As if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

'Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands at my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life 
I want to give you life

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you 

'Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, yeah I'll love you
I'll never let you go, no, no

And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you 
Here at my side, my hands are holding you
Ohhh...





Photo Credit

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A Shed, 2 Girls and a Traumatic Blessing!

A few days ago our home experienced a traumatic blessing. That is what I decided because everything was perfectly fine in the end and really nothing was wrong for very long.

Keira and Libby asked to go outside and ride their bikes. Keira is apparently doing "bike school" with Libby and teaching her to ride without training wheels. I have yet to witness this happening but Tom says its true. haha.

We have pretty specific rules about them being outside without a grown up and at the time, I really needed to stay in. So, I had my work at the dining room table where I could look out the Front Window (which was also open). They were instructed to go to the shed TOGETHER, get their bikes, TOGETHER and bring them to the front where I could see them on the sidewalk.

I quickly went upstairs to put Levi to bed while they went out the back door into the yard.

When I came back down, I sat at the table, opened my laptop to catch up on a couple of things and waited. Probably 3 minutes later, I noticed that the girls had yet to appear in the front.

A bit frustrated, I put my shoes on and headed out the front. I must admit, I expected to find them arguing in the back yard or something of the like.

I got around to the back yard....they were not there.

Libby's bike was in the middle of our small back yard but the girls were no where to be found.

Believe it or not, I did not panic.

Like I said, when I thought they were going outside, I went up to put Levi to bed which probably takes about 2 minutes.

So, I figured, they must have changed their minds and went up to the playroom (3rd floor) instead.

I headed in and up and checked.

They were not there.

At this point, I grabbed my phone and was running. I also have to say that these girls usually follow the rules. I cannot imagine them leaving the yard or walking away from the house on purpose because that just isn't who they are....now, when Janessa is a bit older, that will be a different story...because she thoroughly enjoys breaking the rules and apologizing. Ugh.

As I rounded the corner to the backyard, I heard faint crying.

They were IN the shed. (Being the paranoid person I am, I of course was just praying they were alone!)

I thought they had locked themselves in there by accident but apparently they had seen a cat.

A Cat.

Why my children have a crazy fear of cats, I will never know. Maybe its a subconscious knowledge that I am severely allergic?!?!??!?!

They saw a cat while getting their bikes, quickly shut the door and cried.

So, where's the blessing you ask? Here it comes.

The total time they could have been in the shed AT THE MOST was 5 minutes...which of course to them was an eternity. BUT, this is what they told me.

First, they tried to look out of the shed to see if the cat was still there and they heard it meowing. Then, they started crying....and hugging.

Keira tried to calm her terrified 4 1/2 year old sister by telling her that mommy would come soon when I noticed they didn't come out front. (correct, my sweet girl)

And then they prayed. My sweet, naughty, adorable, fighting, kind, frustrating daughters prayed together. Because they knew that Jesus would bring mommy quick.

And then I rescued them....or Jesus did depending on how you want to look at it.

After that traumatic experience, I did have to sit and console them for quite a while. Then I allowed them a tv show because they were completely exhausted from the drama of it all....but this is how they sat.

 We talked a bit about how important it is that they always have a buddy because that way, if something bad happens, they will not be alone. I pointed out how much better it was that they had each other.

Now, I know that they will continuously go through phases and they will argue and disagree but the the last few days since that experience they have been completely inseparable.

What a blessing to have such a wonderful best friend sister. And of course, I feel completely blessed that there wasn't anything really wrong...well...except a stray cat!

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Friday Night Fun!

Do you ever get sick of fighting about dinner with the kids?

I do.

Every night, someone doesn't want to eat or doesn't want to stay in their seat or throws some kind of a tantrum during our family dinner. I know that some of you simply cannot imagine this since our kids are perfect (haha).

So, Friday was our first day of our homeschool co-op (which was awesome by the way). The kids get to do arts and crafts and music and learn all kinds of awesome things that would otherwise make homeschooling a bit more stressful to me!

Well...in thinking ahead, I realized that dinner time may not be all that fun with REALLY tired kids. So, we ate junk! 

We made mozzarella sticks, potato skins, cheese and crackers, of course baby carrots and bananas AND milkshakes. 

We also let them eat on the couch while we all watched a silly movie together! Silly baby brother had fun too...he played and then he'd pop his head up for a snack!

.



It was delightful. While it was fun for the kids, it was a nice break from the dinner time battle that sometimes rages at our house.

While it wouldn't be healthy to eat like this often, it was well worth it for a special treat for the whole family!

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A lesson from me....for me.

Do you ever feel like, "why do I never learn"? That's me.

Like most people in our area, we started school this week.

While some may feel that life gets more difficult when that happens...it is quite the opposite for me.

Sure...we have actual things that NEED to be accomplished each day but I must admit that I thrive on being busy.

I don't just say that. I really mean it.

I know that everyone is different and some people truly need down time (ahem...that would be my husband!) but down time to me is sitting on the sofa while we watch a movie and I work on something...writing, cross stitching, crocheting, a photo album, coupons, a sudoku puzzle...anything!...etc.) I feel the need to be accomplishing something at all times or I simply cannot relax.

So...my point.

I get so much more done when we are busy and I have a set schedule. While I am sure that the years ahead of homeschooling 4 children will take up much more time than doing 1st grade with Keira and some Pre-K with Libby, I have to say that I love it.

We use a fantastic curriculum that tells me exactly what to do each day and I have an intense Calendar that maps our days out. Living on a schedule goes much smoother [most of the time] than summer days when we can "do whatever we want".

So, why do I do that to myself. Next summer I need to just remind myself to make a set schedule for us and stick to it!

The house ends up cleaner, the kids more content, I feel more accomplished and most importantly, I end up spending SO much more time reading the bible and praying!

So...the lesson for myself. Just because we don't have to do school, co-op, set dance class, Community Bible Study, Pioneer Girls, Choir...etc. doesn't mean I can't make a schedule for myself and the kids so we can feel like we are doing something worthwhile.

Maybe next summer I will look into different ways we can serve in the community together to give us something that we are committed to each week, I could be better at making actual play dates with poeple and we could visit a different park for a picnic each week. Simple. Fun. Scheduled.

I am a happy mama to be on a schedule again! What about you?

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The day I finally lost it!

Have you ever had a day when you thought you literally just couldn't take it anymore? That was me a couple of days ago.

It's funny because I still cannot pinpoint what the problem was exactly.

Maybe it was coming off of a week where my sister and her awesome family had been in town visiting and we had gone from fun every day to feeling a bit shut in with a sick 2 year old.

Maybe it is my subconscious knowing that we are starting homeschooling up again next week and that summer will officially be over?

Maybe it is the fact that I put a lot of pressure on myself to make things perfect in my life which of course I fail at completely.

The kids weren't listening. I couldn't stay on top of the house cleaning. Life is busy and Tom can't use any vacation until at least December (with a new job that we are so blessed with!).

All I do know for sure is that they other day, I was ready to quit! Seriously. I was ready to find a job, find childcare and enroll the older two in school rather than continuing with the home school route God has clearly called our family to.

I have an amazing husband who is forever patient with me when I have days like this but I cannot expect him to fill me up. I cannot expect that the kids will be perfect and that will keep me content. I cannot even expect that if the house was perfectly clean, I would be happy.

I ended up spending a great deal of time in prayer (eh hem...probably should have done that sooner) and then reading my Bible.

Of course that always helps but then I picked up a book that I love to turn to by Lysa TerKeurst. Sometimes it is scary to me how much I can relate to this woman but what I love is that I am always pointed to scripture that really speaks to my heart. I highly recommend this book to any mom!


Psalm 73:26

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of 

my heart and my portion forever."

This is a verse that I NEED to live by! I can read the Bible every day and spend time in prayer but if I am not allowing the Lord to be my portion and fill me up, than I will never be full and I will always feel unsatisfied. 

I can have every good intention to get up before the kids and spend time with God but the reality is, it doesn't always happen. Sometimes they wake up earlier than expected. Or I didn't sleep well...or...well...the snooze bar looks too appealing, haha. 

What I do know is that I need to let God fill me up completely, not the things in this world. I need to wake up each day and say. "Lord, be my portion today. When my flesh and heart fail, be the strength of my heart."

Will you do this with me?

(Photo Credit)

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Are you conforming?

So, this post has been swirling around in my head for a while but I wasn't sure how to write it down in a way that makes sense, so here goes!

I often hear people say that they would not want to be a "Christian" because it means they would have to follow a strict set of rules. They would have to "conform" so to speak to live life a certain way. It has come up a LOT lately and being the person that I am, I never have the right thing to say in the moment. However, it has led me to spend quite a deal of time thinking, praying, reading and listening on the subject.

The thing is, believing in the one true God is freeing. I don't and never have felt trapped in some sort of world that doesn't allow me to think or act freely. But I have grace that no other religion out there offers.

God gave each person a conscience to know the difference between right and wrong. Being a Christian doesn't make robbing a bank any more or less wrong. Being a Christian doesn't make murdering someone any more or less wrong. Wrong is wrong. Sin is sin.

I find more and more that NON Believers are the ones conforming. Trying to be accepted by this world, their friends and family.

Romans 12:2 says " Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

You want to fit in. You want to be loved and ultimately, you want acceptance.

So, why does Christianity take all of the slack for following a set of rules? As a Christian, I actually think the goal is to be set apart. Different from anyone else. So....why in this world full of people claiming to want to be different, don't they turn to Jesus?

And besides that. I have yet to meet another Christian who sees eye to eye with me on everything...we are not all the same. haha.

The Bible has been the most freeing thing in my life. It teaches me and is a resource for me to turn to for guidance. I have never felt stuck in a set of rules, but more guided and protected from things that could hurt me physically and emotionally.

If you are reading this and don't know who God is, I urge you to check this out.

I mean...what is the purpose of life without Jesus?

Ok...end of rant.

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The End of an Era

(Disclaimer: I forgot the real camera so I had to use my phone...not the best pictures)

Tom graduated this past Sunday (June 8th). He didn't want to walk in the graduation but I signed him up for it anyways. Hey....I filled out every last piece of paper work for him for the past five years so I figured he owed it to me. I think he is glad he did it too...because they had some awesome food at a reception after!

We will be married seven years this August. More than five of those years have been spent with him attending school part and full time as well as working full time for most of it. Keira was about 10 months old when he started and we have added THREE more children to our family. I brought Levi and he was an angel through the whole thing!

 To say that getting a Bachelors degree during this time was a challenge is an understatement. I am so proud of him, it is almost ridiculous!

Watching him walk across that stage was a symbol. The symbol of the end of an era.

Through it all....God sustained us.

He allowed our marriage to grow and flourish. I would be lying if I said that the stress never got to us, of course it did, but God prevailed and we were able to see it for what it was.

Stress. Not real problems, when you put it in perspective. Just hard times that we had to press on through.

Although it was hard work and perseverance from Tom, I do recognize that it was also a sacrifice on the part of me and our kids. The sacrifice of time. Time with a husband and time with a daddy.




But we knew our goal. We knew all along that this was what God wanted for us which He made abundantly clear to us several times. And we pressed on.

We made the best of what we had. Time and otherwise. And now, it is complete.

When I think back to five years ago when he just got started, it seemed like a lifetime away. It seemed impossible.

But with God. All things are possible.

Tom started his new job this week and it is wonderful. We are aware that in this world there are no promises and this too could be temporary but we know that God has a plan for us and it will be great!

If there is something that you feel God is leading you towards today, pray. And then go. Do it. You will be abundantly blessed by Him in whatever ways He wants to bless you.

This is the end of an era for us. It is also the beginning of a new one. And I am so excited to see what God brings our way next because friends....He NEVER leaves us. He NEVER forsakes us.

Follow Him and trust.

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The Laundry Monster

Do you ever feel buried in laundry...I do...most of the time!

I actually think that I have finally found a system that works for our family right now. I have tried a few different things that have all worked at different times but right now, I am feeling like I am winning the battle...well....most days.

For the first few years of our marriage (and only 1 or 2 kids), I just did a load of laundry here and there. Some days I wouldn't do any and other days I did a couple of loads. My problem here was that I was really bad at sorting, folding and putting away. I would put Tom and my clothes away but the girls would be sleeping or something and we ended up living out of laundry baskets a lot! Also, I am only OCD about a few things in life but one of them is matching tops to bottoms with the kids clothes. I don't like to put a shirt away without its coordinating pants...so...often, they were separated in the laundry and it would be awhile before I could find the matches. Silly...I know.

Then for about a year it worked for me to do ALL of the laundry in one day of the week. It was the only "chore" I would do that day but as each load came out of the dryer, it would get folded and as soon as that kids rooms was free, it was put away. That worked for a while but when I did have something else to do that day, I would get behind and it was nearly impossible to catch up.

Then...Levi was born. My snugly, content, happy, giggly love-bug....who happens to have a diaper explosion AT LEAST once a day!

I needed a new system. For a while, I just did laundry all the time again and it never seemed to be caught up. But, because I was constantly doing his laundry, I realized how much easier it was that all of his laundry stayed together. It came from his hamper, down to the laundry, then folded and back to his room.

So, I adapted this system for the rest of the house. The girls laundry (because they all share a room) stays together. Every day, I do a laundry for a different room of the house. If I have time, I will get two rooms done in  a day but it has made a world of difference.

Once each bedrooms laundry is done, I will do whites and towels. It works great!

I finally have stopped feeling overwhelmed by laundry and this really helps with my matching clothes OCD.

Now....If I could figure out how to make socks stop separating from each other that would be great!

Comment below with ideas and tell me how you win your battle with The Laundry Monster!

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Five Minute Friday: Mess

In honor of it being Friday, I am linking up with Lisa-Jo and her 5 minute Friday link. Today's word is "mess". So here goes...my 5 minutes of un-edited writing on this word:

Mess...I think I could go on and on and on about this word for so many reasons. I am in that stage of life where sometimes I feel like messes are all around me. There are certainly days where it feels like I have it all together but it doesn't last very long! Most days, it feels like I cannot get rid of the mess! I can literally clean all day long and even have the kids help me and still....somehow...I can find a place in my house that either never got cleaned or already got messed up again. It can be frustrating.

Don't you think that is somehow how God feels. He loves us so very much but we mess up all the time. He forgives us. He gives us new life. He helps us find our way and yet, there is still so much "mess". We follow behind Him messing up the things He just cleaned....a little like my two year old. I love her more than I could ever express....but she frustrates me on a minute by minute basis with all of the things she does to disobey me. Sometimes I am shocked by the mess she can make so quickly. And what a mess I can make with my life so easily.

Don't you just love her though. haha

Well...that ends my 5 minutes of writing for the day....not sure it made any sense but I am exhausted!

Have a great weekend!

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Grasping at Nothing

Recently, I took the kids to Walmart for some regular grocery shopping time. They know that if they are well behaved while in the store (no begging, running away, screaming, yelling or generally bad behavior) they will get to ride on the Mickey Mouse Car found near the exit. I am not even sure why this works because the thing barely moves and I make all 3 girls ride it together even though there's not room.

It is worth Fifty Cents to me but no more!  Call it a bribe, call it whatever you want...to me, it is called "a way to survive shopping with 4 kids that are five and under!"

I digress. On this particular day, the kids were well behaved and anticipating their ride. When we walked out of the store, Keira presented her own quarter that she had apparently snagged from her piggy bank at home and kept in her hand the whole time. She brought it to play the grab machine. You know it. The one that you pour money into and after about $10-$15, you finally get a stiff, cheap stuffed animal that likely doesn't resemble even a well know Disney character.

So, I calmly explained that this game was a losing game and that she would likely lose her money and walk away with nothing. Also, the game cost fifty cents and she only had a quarter.

She wanted to play anyways. I thought about it and gave her a quarter explaining that this was the only quarter she would get from me and she would see that it just isn't worth it.

She played. She lost. She asked for more quarters. I said no. She Begged.

 I still said no.

Okay, I thought. Now I have the opportunity to show her that I was right. I explained how she should have listened to me. I went through all that just happened. How she missed the"fun" ride with her sisters. How she wasted Fifty cents with nothing to show for it. I thought surely she would never ask to play again. Apparently I forgot what it was like to be five. Her next words.

"Next time, I will bring more quarters". Ugh.

How often do I do this to God? He clearly tells me that the choice I am making is a bad one. One with consequences. One that will make me miss out on something great. How devastating.

Just like a five year old and a grab machine, we somehow think that if we just keep trying to get what we want, we will eventually get it. Sometimes we even do. But at what cost?

Sometimes it takes trying to teach my five year old a lesson (unsuccessfully) to teach me a bigger one!

Let's stop grasping at nothing and grasp at God's Word. It will never leave us empty or unsatisfied!