Is This Normal?

We need to be careful you guys! We need to be watchful at what is happening to our kids through all that is going on. What is becoming normal to their precious little eyes? With all that has been finally coming out in the media about human trafficking, we need to be aware of how these things happen. It is a HUGE problem. 

Everyone keeps talking about the "new normal". I get it. Things have changed. Although I desperately do not want what life is like now to be the norm, I understand that, for now, this is the way things are. Since the middle of March, we've been dealing with Covid and it has come to be seen as normal for people to be wearing masks. Pretty much everything, at least here in New York State, was shut down so there was really nowhere to go besides the grocery store, and we all did that as minimally as possible. 

Then the 14 days to flatten the curve (which has been flattened BTW for several months now) dragged on. Businesses, at least the ones that weren't basically forced to close their doors permanently, started to find ways to open. So now, we start emerging again, with our faces covered, and our children's faces covered. Now, this post is not about how much I hate masks and think they are useless so I won't go there. However, we've semi gotten used to seeing people with masks without thinking anything of it. 

Then, some activities started up. Some churches started re-opening...THANK GOD! And now, it is considered normal to get your temperature taken before entering certain places. Everyone seems to have gotten a touchless thermometer. I have one that works great. When my kids are sick, I like to check their temp while they sleep and not worry about spreading germs from kid to kid. If you want one, I highly recommend this one:

Now, I do struggle with this a bit, but I know that at least in our area, if you aren't doing this, the state will shut you down, so I get why people are doing it and I am thankful in many ways that some of my kids activities have found a way to be open so our children can do something semi-normal and see their friends. I just want to be very clear about that. 

But this....THIS...WHY? I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and something just struck me. I saw an advertisement for little girl going into school. She was wearing a mask and her teacher/administrator was taking her temperature in the middle of her forehead with a thermometer that is shaped like a GUN! How many of our kids are getting used to this scene? Face covered, being obedient, standing still and letting someone point something straight at their head. This is not the picture that I saw but you get the point.

This is not normal and it should never be. If you are working with children and are using a thermometer on them that is shaped like a gun (and maybe you didn't realize it), please please please, find something else to use. 

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Not My Plans

This was not my plan but here we are. I realized recently that really this is the theme of my life. 

I know I am not alone in this at all but I cannot even begin to tell you how done I am making plans for myself. It's a little bit sad really, because I absolutely LOVE to make plans. To the point where my friends actually nicknamed me the "Cruise Director" for a while. 

I digress. This year has been a challenge to us all, navigating the ins and outs of reality and what our futures will look like. 

For those of you who don't know us, Tom and I homeschooled our kids starting when our oldest, Keira, who is now 12 and going into 7th grade, was in pre-school. I thought I would always homeschool our kids. I had always wanted to and really felt that it was the right thing for our family. 

Well, two years ago, I started having some health issues, really strange things that I won't even go into here. I had swollen lymph nodes that would not go away even though all tests pointed to negative, among other very bothersome things. We got to December 2018 and I felt like I was literally going to lose my mind. My kids were not cooperating and I just didn't want to be around them anymore. I loved them, don't get me wrong, but...well....I was just done. 

We started looking into some private school options and long story short, they started at a WONDERFUL, AMAZING private Christian school in our area in January 2019.  Surprisingly enough, my health issues basically vanished. It was completely stress related. They continued there last year until...well...COVID. 

So, this summer, Tom and I were just thinking and praying, and of course the schools had no idea if they were even going to be allowed to open and if so, what that would look like. The longer it went without knowing, the more headaches, stomachaches and pure exhaustion I felt. Finally, one Friday, I said to Tom, "We need to make a decision. I need to know if we are homeschooling or not because if we are, I need to make plans." That was it. he said homeschooling it was and the decision was made. 

So here I am. Surrounded by new curriculum and knowing that God's plans are best.  

I can rest in His grace knowing that this is what He wants for our family this year. I have no idea what next year will bring, because, clearly, my plans make God laugh! Now we are just praying that God will bless us through this craziness and that somehow, we will come out of this closer to each other and the Lord.

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Homeschool Success

As a homeschool mom, I often hear, "I don't know how you do it." or "You are supermom". I assure you, I am not. There are a lot of things that get thrown to the side to accomplish the bare minimum. What I do accomplish, I can only do because of God's grace and the fact that He called me to this. As the mom's often talk about in my homeschool co-op, there are certainly many days where I have, what we call, "Yellow Bus Envy". It is hard. I am not going to tell you that it isn't.

But today is one of those days that I am reminded of a few of the reasons that I love this "job". Libby was able to read 4 sentences as part of her school work (she's in Kindergarten). I got to experience this with her. God used ME to teach her that.

When she finished reading, she looked at me with watery eyes and said, "It almost made me cry because I am so happy I can read." For a five year old to be able to say that and feel that is amazing to me.

They are all such different personalities, these kids of mine. While Keira fights me to do the bare minimum of schoolwork because she wants to do something else, Libby asks for more work every day. In this picture she is squeezing as many numbers onto a line as she can rather than writing each number 5 times like she needed to. (She asked if she could write them more). Too funny!

My heart is full. I have experienced this before with Keira and she is a fantastic reader (though she doens't like it) but I am so fulfilled today knowing that my kids are learning. They are giggling together all day long. They are in their jammies still at 2pm. They have learned so much today and spent time playing dolls and legos and pretend and a few rounds of musical chairs.

I write this not to boast but so that I can look back and remember that there are good days amidst the hard ones. Even at 8 months pregnant with a fifth child, high blood pressure, swollen feet and more medical bills than we anticipated, I find joy in my child's success.

Tomorrow, when I feel like I should be sticking one or all of them on the bus, I will try to remember today and that there will be more days like today in my future.

Despite the days when we bicker and fight all day about what needs to get done, I wouldn't trade this for anything.

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I Couldn't Protect Them

We are a homeschooling family. Some of you might think that means we shelter them. In some ways I agree. For us, it is a matter of letting them experience life as we feel they are ready to experience certain situations.

THAT IS NOT TO JUDGE HOW YOU RAISE YOUR FAMILY.

This is what we feel is right for our family.

But, as much as we try to protect them, we can't always...especially because we choose to be involved in many various activities each week where Tom and I are not with our kids....though we know who is!

This week, at one of the places that we go weekly (that I LOVE LOVE LOVE), Libby was playing with a friend who told her about a monster that lives in her friends basement. She apparently went into a lot of detail and I am not entirely sure how they even had time to have this conversation. I was not in her class with her.

She was terrified.

She asked me about it all day long. I tried to brush it off and not make a big deal out of it in hopes that she wouldn't make to big of a deal out of it.

But then bedtime came....and there was a lot of crying and screaming. She was so scared and I have never felt so bad in my life.

We prayed. We sang songs. She started to calm down but was NOT going to let me leave her room.

And then her sweet sister (who fights with her daily, I might add), invited her to sleep in her bed.

Instant cure. Instant cuteness.

I've never been so happy that my kids have siblings. I have never been so glad that they share a room.

This might be permanent and I don't even care.

Its so cute. I am not sure how a twin bed looks so roomy.

As a mother, I want so badly to protect my children and the reality is that sometimes I can't. So, when we can't protect them, we need to do our best to make them feel safe.

I feel like we had just recovered from The Shed incident and now it will start over.

Isn't it supposed to be the baby that keeps me awake at night?

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A Four Year Old's Question

Bedtime around here can be...well...a nightmare. haha. It is often filled with children thinking of ways to stay up later. Thinking of things that they NEED to do before turning out the light. Baby crying because he is put to bed in a different room and then hears chaos ensue in the room next door.

Usually at least one kid gets out of bed after we leave the room and tries to stall just a bit longer. You know...the usual.

Don't get me wrong. It CAN be filled with the good stuff too. Sweet Prayer time and songs about Jesus together. Hugs and Kisses galore and heavenly "I love You's".

But mostly, bedtime itself makes me exhausted.

Sometimes God give you those wonderful surprises, right when you need them though.

Tonight, after bedtime, we heard the girls door open and someone head to the bathroom...ok...no big deal. After that, the footsteps tiptoed over near the stairs. Tom headed over and Libby said, "Daddy, I was just going potty, but what does Redeemed mean?"

What an amazing question from our four year old. He took her back to bed and explained to her. (I have no idea what he said but he was gone a while).

She had heard a song on the radio that was stuck in her head and wanted to know what she was singing about.

I LOVE IT!

Parents, please understand that your little ones hear everything that is near them. Understand that their little hearts are open to hear and learn what they are surrounded by. I am so thankful that she was asking about redemption and not something horrid.

What a wonderful Bedtime stall tactic. If You only knew, sweet Libby Grace, you could stay up late every night asking questions like that.

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A Shed, 2 Girls and a Traumatic Blessing!

A few days ago our home experienced a traumatic blessing. That is what I decided because everything was perfectly fine in the end and really nothing was wrong for very long.

Keira and Libby asked to go outside and ride their bikes. Keira is apparently doing "bike school" with Libby and teaching her to ride without training wheels. I have yet to witness this happening but Tom says its true. haha.

We have pretty specific rules about them being outside without a grown up and at the time, I really needed to stay in. So, I had my work at the dining room table where I could look out the Front Window (which was also open). They were instructed to go to the shed TOGETHER, get their bikes, TOGETHER and bring them to the front where I could see them on the sidewalk.

I quickly went upstairs to put Levi to bed while they went out the back door into the yard.

When I came back down, I sat at the table, opened my laptop to catch up on a couple of things and waited. Probably 3 minutes later, I noticed that the girls had yet to appear in the front.

A bit frustrated, I put my shoes on and headed out the front. I must admit, I expected to find them arguing in the back yard or something of the like.

I got around to the back yard....they were not there.

Libby's bike was in the middle of our small back yard but the girls were no where to be found.

Believe it or not, I did not panic.

Like I said, when I thought they were going outside, I went up to put Levi to bed which probably takes about 2 minutes.

So, I figured, they must have changed their minds and went up to the playroom (3rd floor) instead.

I headed in and up and checked.

They were not there.

At this point, I grabbed my phone and was running. I also have to say that these girls usually follow the rules. I cannot imagine them leaving the yard or walking away from the house on purpose because that just isn't who they are....now, when Janessa is a bit older, that will be a different story...because she thoroughly enjoys breaking the rules and apologizing. Ugh.

As I rounded the corner to the backyard, I heard faint crying.

They were IN the shed. (Being the paranoid person I am, I of course was just praying they were alone!)

I thought they had locked themselves in there by accident but apparently they had seen a cat.

A Cat.

Why my children have a crazy fear of cats, I will never know. Maybe its a subconscious knowledge that I am severely allergic?!?!??!?!

They saw a cat while getting their bikes, quickly shut the door and cried.

So, where's the blessing you ask? Here it comes.

The total time they could have been in the shed AT THE MOST was 5 minutes...which of course to them was an eternity. BUT, this is what they told me.

First, they tried to look out of the shed to see if the cat was still there and they heard it meowing. Then, they started crying....and hugging.

Keira tried to calm her terrified 4 1/2 year old sister by telling her that mommy would come soon when I noticed they didn't come out front. (correct, my sweet girl)

And then they prayed. My sweet, naughty, adorable, fighting, kind, frustrating daughters prayed together. Because they knew that Jesus would bring mommy quick.

And then I rescued them....or Jesus did depending on how you want to look at it.

After that traumatic experience, I did have to sit and console them for quite a while. Then I allowed them a tv show because they were completely exhausted from the drama of it all....but this is how they sat.

 We talked a bit about how important it is that they always have a buddy because that way, if something bad happens, they will not be alone. I pointed out how much better it was that they had each other.

Now, I know that they will continuously go through phases and they will argue and disagree but the the last few days since that experience they have been completely inseparable.

What a blessing to have such a wonderful best friend sister. And of course, I feel completely blessed that there wasn't anything really wrong...well...except a stray cat!

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A lesson from me....for me.

Do you ever feel like, "why do I never learn"? That's me.

Like most people in our area, we started school this week.

While some may feel that life gets more difficult when that happens...it is quite the opposite for me.

Sure...we have actual things that NEED to be accomplished each day but I must admit that I thrive on being busy.

I don't just say that. I really mean it.

I know that everyone is different and some people truly need down time (ahem...that would be my husband!) but down time to me is sitting on the sofa while we watch a movie and I work on something...writing, cross stitching, crocheting, a photo album, coupons, a sudoku puzzle...anything!...etc.) I feel the need to be accomplishing something at all times or I simply cannot relax.

So...my point.

I get so much more done when we are busy and I have a set schedule. While I am sure that the years ahead of homeschooling 4 children will take up much more time than doing 1st grade with Keira and some Pre-K with Libby, I have to say that I love it.

We use a fantastic curriculum that tells me exactly what to do each day and I have an intense Calendar that maps our days out. Living on a schedule goes much smoother [most of the time] than summer days when we can "do whatever we want".

So, why do I do that to myself. Next summer I need to just remind myself to make a set schedule for us and stick to it!

The house ends up cleaner, the kids more content, I feel more accomplished and most importantly, I end up spending SO much more time reading the bible and praying!

So...the lesson for myself. Just because we don't have to do school, co-op, set dance class, Community Bible Study, Pioneer Girls, Choir...etc. doesn't mean I can't make a schedule for myself and the kids so we can feel like we are doing something worthwhile.

Maybe next summer I will look into different ways we can serve in the community together to give us something that we are committed to each week, I could be better at making actual play dates with poeple and we could visit a different park for a picnic each week. Simple. Fun. Scheduled.

I am a happy mama to be on a schedule again! What about you?

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The day I finally lost it!

Have you ever had a day when you thought you literally just couldn't take it anymore? That was me a couple of days ago.

It's funny because I still cannot pinpoint what the problem was exactly.

Maybe it was coming off of a week where my sister and her awesome family had been in town visiting and we had gone from fun every day to feeling a bit shut in with a sick 2 year old.

Maybe it is my subconscious knowing that we are starting homeschooling up again next week and that summer will officially be over?

Maybe it is the fact that I put a lot of pressure on myself to make things perfect in my life which of course I fail at completely.

The kids weren't listening. I couldn't stay on top of the house cleaning. Life is busy and Tom can't use any vacation until at least December (with a new job that we are so blessed with!).

All I do know for sure is that they other day, I was ready to quit! Seriously. I was ready to find a job, find childcare and enroll the older two in school rather than continuing with the home school route God has clearly called our family to.

I have an amazing husband who is forever patient with me when I have days like this but I cannot expect him to fill me up. I cannot expect that the kids will be perfect and that will keep me content. I cannot even expect that if the house was perfectly clean, I would be happy.

I ended up spending a great deal of time in prayer (eh hem...probably should have done that sooner) and then reading my Bible.

Of course that always helps but then I picked up a book that I love to turn to by Lysa TerKeurst. Sometimes it is scary to me how much I can relate to this woman but what I love is that I am always pointed to scripture that really speaks to my heart. I highly recommend this book to any mom!


Psalm 73:26

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of 

my heart and my portion forever."

This is a verse that I NEED to live by! I can read the Bible every day and spend time in prayer but if I am not allowing the Lord to be my portion and fill me up, than I will never be full and I will always feel unsatisfied. 

I can have every good intention to get up before the kids and spend time with God but the reality is, it doesn't always happen. Sometimes they wake up earlier than expected. Or I didn't sleep well...or...well...the snooze bar looks too appealing, haha. 

What I do know is that I need to let God fill me up completely, not the things in this world. I need to wake up each day and say. "Lord, be my portion today. When my flesh and heart fail, be the strength of my heart."

Will you do this with me?

(Photo Credit)

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Out of Sync

Do you ever feel completely out of sync with normal life? That is me this week. Nothing bad, just different. With two sick little ones, I guess my normal routine just goes out the window. I am exhausted from lack of sleep. My two youngest are not feeling so great and the two older ones are feeling a bit shut in. 

This is also why there wasn't a "Worship Wednesday" post this week. I was getting pretty down on myself about it until I realized that it completely didn't matter. My number one is taking care of my kiddos and that is what I was doing. 

Our usual activities were cancelled this week due to it being a week off of school and I had already planned to take the week off from homeschooling (though I am rethinking that for future school breaks...we need the routine of it). We probably wouldn't have been able to attend anything with the babies being sick anyways so I guess it is for the best!

So...we have had a different from usual week but here is what it has looked like.

It was in the 40's yesterday which seemed like summer compared to this cold Winter so Keira and Libby went out to play in the driveway..one would have thought they went to Disney World!

Janessa has been resting...or crying...a lot of this week. She has bronchitis and is on the mend but definitely has needed some extra snuggles this week. I feel terrible for her but have also enjoyed the lack of destruction in our home the past couple of days. (though if you saw my house right now, you would think that we were hit by a tornado for sure!)

I simply cannot believe that Levi is 6 months old today...and had his first sick visit to the Doctor. He is wheezing a bit so we have to keep an eye on him and make sure it doesn't get worse. I always worry since Libby had RSV at 6 weeks old and was hospitalized for a week but I don't think he's on that path thankfully! (Click Here for a post about when Libby had RSV)

I rarely include anything that we do but Tom and I are both on praise team this week plus we had choir practice beforehand. We have an awesome sitter/friend who can actually handle our children, even at bedtime. It was like a little praise vacation. And Levi actually slept the whole time we were gone:) So even though I missed the Worship Wednesday post, Tom and I did go to Worship practice!

Being flexible is good...but I cannot wait until things are back to "normal".

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