I Couldn't Protect Them

We are a homeschooling family. Some of you might think that means we shelter them. In some ways I agree. For us, it is a matter of letting them experience life as we feel they are ready to experience certain situations.

THAT IS NOT TO JUDGE HOW YOU RAISE YOUR FAMILY.

This is what we feel is right for our family.

But, as much as we try to protect them, we can't always...especially because we choose to be involved in many various activities each week where Tom and I are not with our kids....though we know who is!

This week, at one of the places that we go weekly (that I LOVE LOVE LOVE), Libby was playing with a friend who told her about a monster that lives in her friends basement. She apparently went into a lot of detail and I am not entirely sure how they even had time to have this conversation. I was not in her class with her.

She was terrified.

She asked me about it all day long. I tried to brush it off and not make a big deal out of it in hopes that she wouldn't make to big of a deal out of it.

But then bedtime came....and there was a lot of crying and screaming. She was so scared and I have never felt so bad in my life.

We prayed. We sang songs. She started to calm down but was NOT going to let me leave her room.

And then her sweet sister (who fights with her daily, I might add), invited her to sleep in her bed.

Instant cure. Instant cuteness.

I've never been so happy that my kids have siblings. I have never been so glad that they share a room.

This might be permanent and I don't even care.

Its so cute. I am not sure how a twin bed looks so roomy.

As a mother, I want so badly to protect my children and the reality is that sometimes I can't. So, when we can't protect them, we need to do our best to make them feel safe.

I feel like we had just recovered from The Shed incident and now it will start over.

Isn't it supposed to be the baby that keeps me awake at night?

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A Shed, 2 Girls and a Traumatic Blessing!

A few days ago our home experienced a traumatic blessing. That is what I decided because everything was perfectly fine in the end and really nothing was wrong for very long.

Keira and Libby asked to go outside and ride their bikes. Keira is apparently doing "bike school" with Libby and teaching her to ride without training wheels. I have yet to witness this happening but Tom says its true. haha.

We have pretty specific rules about them being outside without a grown up and at the time, I really needed to stay in. So, I had my work at the dining room table where I could look out the Front Window (which was also open). They were instructed to go to the shed TOGETHER, get their bikes, TOGETHER and bring them to the front where I could see them on the sidewalk.

I quickly went upstairs to put Levi to bed while they went out the back door into the yard.

When I came back down, I sat at the table, opened my laptop to catch up on a couple of things and waited. Probably 3 minutes later, I noticed that the girls had yet to appear in the front.

A bit frustrated, I put my shoes on and headed out the front. I must admit, I expected to find them arguing in the back yard or something of the like.

I got around to the back yard....they were not there.

Libby's bike was in the middle of our small back yard but the girls were no where to be found.

Believe it or not, I did not panic.

Like I said, when I thought they were going outside, I went up to put Levi to bed which probably takes about 2 minutes.

So, I figured, they must have changed their minds and went up to the playroom (3rd floor) instead.

I headed in and up and checked.

They were not there.

At this point, I grabbed my phone and was running. I also have to say that these girls usually follow the rules. I cannot imagine them leaving the yard or walking away from the house on purpose because that just isn't who they are....now, when Janessa is a bit older, that will be a different story...because she thoroughly enjoys breaking the rules and apologizing. Ugh.

As I rounded the corner to the backyard, I heard faint crying.

They were IN the shed. (Being the paranoid person I am, I of course was just praying they were alone!)

I thought they had locked themselves in there by accident but apparently they had seen a cat.

A Cat.

Why my children have a crazy fear of cats, I will never know. Maybe its a subconscious knowledge that I am severely allergic?!?!??!?!

They saw a cat while getting their bikes, quickly shut the door and cried.

So, where's the blessing you ask? Here it comes.

The total time they could have been in the shed AT THE MOST was 5 minutes...which of course to them was an eternity. BUT, this is what they told me.

First, they tried to look out of the shed to see if the cat was still there and they heard it meowing. Then, they started crying....and hugging.

Keira tried to calm her terrified 4 1/2 year old sister by telling her that mommy would come soon when I noticed they didn't come out front. (correct, my sweet girl)

And then they prayed. My sweet, naughty, adorable, fighting, kind, frustrating daughters prayed together. Because they knew that Jesus would bring mommy quick.

And then I rescued them....or Jesus did depending on how you want to look at it.

After that traumatic experience, I did have to sit and console them for quite a while. Then I allowed them a tv show because they were completely exhausted from the drama of it all....but this is how they sat.

 We talked a bit about how important it is that they always have a buddy because that way, if something bad happens, they will not be alone. I pointed out how much better it was that they had each other.

Now, I know that they will continuously go through phases and they will argue and disagree but the the last few days since that experience they have been completely inseparable.

What a blessing to have such a wonderful best friend sister. And of course, I feel completely blessed that there wasn't anything really wrong...well...except a stray cat!

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The day I finally lost it!

Have you ever had a day when you thought you literally just couldn't take it anymore? That was me a couple of days ago.

It's funny because I still cannot pinpoint what the problem was exactly.

Maybe it was coming off of a week where my sister and her awesome family had been in town visiting and we had gone from fun every day to feeling a bit shut in with a sick 2 year old.

Maybe it is my subconscious knowing that we are starting homeschooling up again next week and that summer will officially be over?

Maybe it is the fact that I put a lot of pressure on myself to make things perfect in my life which of course I fail at completely.

The kids weren't listening. I couldn't stay on top of the house cleaning. Life is busy and Tom can't use any vacation until at least December (with a new job that we are so blessed with!).

All I do know for sure is that they other day, I was ready to quit! Seriously. I was ready to find a job, find childcare and enroll the older two in school rather than continuing with the home school route God has clearly called our family to.

I have an amazing husband who is forever patient with me when I have days like this but I cannot expect him to fill me up. I cannot expect that the kids will be perfect and that will keep me content. I cannot even expect that if the house was perfectly clean, I would be happy.

I ended up spending a great deal of time in prayer (eh hem...probably should have done that sooner) and then reading my Bible.

Of course that always helps but then I picked up a book that I love to turn to by Lysa TerKeurst. Sometimes it is scary to me how much I can relate to this woman but what I love is that I am always pointed to scripture that really speaks to my heart. I highly recommend this book to any mom!


Psalm 73:26

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of 

my heart and my portion forever."

This is a verse that I NEED to live by! I can read the Bible every day and spend time in prayer but if I am not allowing the Lord to be my portion and fill me up, than I will never be full and I will always feel unsatisfied. 

I can have every good intention to get up before the kids and spend time with God but the reality is, it doesn't always happen. Sometimes they wake up earlier than expected. Or I didn't sleep well...or...well...the snooze bar looks too appealing, haha. 

What I do know is that I need to let God fill me up completely, not the things in this world. I need to wake up each day and say. "Lord, be my portion today. When my flesh and heart fail, be the strength of my heart."

Will you do this with me?

(Photo Credit)

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Feeling Crazy....a post on essential oils

I am not a naturalist. I am not saying there is anything wrong with being one. It has just never been for me. My take has always been that God gave us modern medicine, so why not use it.

However, I have allergies that usually cause me to get no less than 10 sinus infections per year. I easily get bronchitis from any and every cold I have and have been recently introduced into the wonderful world of migraines.

That is a LOT of medication and I have even developed allergies to many of the available antibiotics to treat said things.

So, when I was invited to attend a class on essential oils, I thought, sure, why not go and learn. While there, it all sounded great but still, I was hesitant to believe that these things could actually help me!

But, I bought a basic kit of oils and a book to help know when to use them and started "playing" with them.

This Book is absolutely amazing! It literally gives you every ailment and what oil(s) can help you! I have found it to be spot on!

They have changed my life and I feel like a crazy person. I feel like when I mention them to people, they are thinking, "yeah...right". I think that, because that is how I was...exactly how I was..

It was the "thanks...but no thanks" attitude.

I feel like I need to share this because I have already seen oils work in amazing ways in my life and I would like to share that with others.

I have used them AND SEEN THEM WORK for the following things: Allergies, Sinuses, Bug Bites, Cuts/scratches, Cold Sore, Sore Muscles, Healed Dry cracked heels, Wart (that they doctor couldn't get to go away), Headaches, Anxiety, Increased Energy....etc.

The thing I am most amazed at is that I have not needed to take allergy medicine for 2 weeks! If you know me, you know that it is a miracle! I also survived a cold without it turning into a sinus infection which has not happened in at least 5 years if not longer.

The thing is, I am not opposed to using modern day medicine but if the oils can help me cut down on how often I need them, it is saving my family money AND probably healthier for me in the long run!

For example...when I get a headache now, I use some peppermint oil. It works immediately about 90 % of the time. When it doesnt work, I take Ibuprofen. I like that difference!

I am using a line called doTerra and I love it. I personally wouldn't trust any other brand...you will NOT get the same results from oils you find in the grocery store.

If you are interested in learning more about how they work and what kinds of things they can help with, let me know...I'd love to teach you what I have learned!

But for now...I still feel a little bit crazy for even saying any of this out loud!

If you interested in taking a look This is my website however, I highly recommend chatting first before ordering anything. It can be completely overwhelming at first but there are small things you can start with that will change your life forever!

Yep....I'm still sounding a little bit nuts!

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Letting Others Teach

The main reason that we decided to homeschool our children is that we want to be the ones teaching them. We want our kids to look to us first (after God, of course) as their examples in life. I want to know what they are learning, what they are being exposed to and be the first one to answer their questions when they don't understand something that they see in the World. God called our family to this for these reasons.

However, I find it completely wonderful that we have a church where I can trust that my kids are learning straight from the Bible. They are making wonderful friends there and have absolutely LOVED their Sunday School and church time teachers. I feel like what we are teaching them at home is being reinforced when they are with these teachers. One of my favorite things is when one of my kids comes home from church and says something like, "mommy, we learned about the same story that daddy told us last night!" Wow...how awesome God is.

If you don't have a church like that, I highly recommend finding one. If you are in the Rochester area, come check out ours sometime (Perinton Community Church) or find us on facebook here.

Okay...enough of the promo for my church...that isn't what this was supposed to be about.

This week was Vacation Bible School at another nearby church. It is the church where we are a part of a co-op for home schooling and also a church that in the past has done a lot of activities with our church. To hear my children recite their memory verses each day and be so excited for what they are learning is awesome. What a great way to spend a week of summer "break".

Keira participated last year. This year, Libby was old enough to join her in the fun. Some great truths were reinforced for my kids in fun ways this week at the "International Spy Academy"!

Last night, we were able to go and watch their classes sing some of the songs they learned....Keira was in the back row so we could barely see her, but they were so excited!

 It was really strange not having my older two at home and I realized how much help they are to me with the little ones. Without even trying they are a source of entertainment and at 6 and 4 years old, they naturally take things away from Levi that they know he shouldn't have.

I am so glad for what they have learned this week...but can't wait to have them home with me again each morning....errrr....next week starts swimming lessons....oh well.

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Convenience

Moving has shown me something about myself that I guess I always knew but now it has been confirmed. Convenience is the key to my life. haha.

In all seriousness though, when things are convenient for me, I am so much more prone to be successful.

As I have been unpacking boxes and trying to find the right place to put things, I have found things that I LOVE but haven't used in a really long time. It's because they weren't in a place where they were conveniently located for me to use. There are other things that I have nearby at all times and never touch.

If I keep cleaning supplies in both bathrooms....I will clean them BOTH more often.

If I keep garbage bags near the diaper genie, it gets changed out much more often (worst. job. ever.)

If I keep healthy food in the fridge and easily accessible, I am more likely to eat that than junk

If I keep my Bible out next to my bed, I am reminded to read it every night (I know, I know...I should start the day this way...but, that just doesn't work for me right now)

Convnience is key!

And what made me realize this? A broom. I spent $3 at Big Lots and bought a second broom to keep upstairs in our new home.

That way, instead of thinking, "Wow...I really need to bring the broom up and sweep these floors!"....I can just sweep them.

Have a wonderful day!

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My Perfect Life: Part 2

If you haven't read My Perfect Life: Part 1, this is a continuation....sort of.
:
6:50 am:  The 2 year old starts knocking (loudly) on her door. One of us jumps out of bed as quickly as possible and tries to convince to her to back to sleep....because no one is allowed out of bed before 7!

Tom gets ready, makes himself a protein shake while I grab a shower and throw something clean on. All of the kids are up now because of course she woke the whole house. I quickly throw bowls of cereal and cups of juice in front of the 3 oldest while I make the baby a bottle and feed him.

8:30 am: Kids are arguing about wanting the same toy. Baby poops up his back (again) and requires a new outfit and a bath. The 2 year old won't let me out of sight and while I am not looking, the two oldest turn on the computer and start watching Netflix.

9:30am: I just finished the dishes (from this morning AND last night) and need to start doing school with the girls...oh no...the girls have been watching shows for an hour already! whoops!

11:00 am: We somehow managed to get through all of the necessary preschool and Kindergarten worksheets while the baby napped....but not without 4 timeouts and the 2 year old coloring all over the wall.

11:30 am: Feeling frantic, this is when I realize that I have not prayed yet or read any part of the bible. Maybe I can read something quick on the ipad. Then, I pray while I am preparing lunch. A lunch that no one wants to eat despite it being EXACTLY what they asked for!

1:00pm: 2 year old naptime...aka...Heaven. Force the 6 year old read to me for 15 minutes. It takes 30 minutes because of all of the fighting.

2:00 pm: The 4 year old forgets about her sister sleeping and goes into their bedroom for a toy. End Naptime. Grumpiness begins by all....including mommy.

3:00 pm: ooops...forgot to take the meat out for dinner. Maybe it will thaw quicker if I put it in water.

4:00 pm: Crazy time. Everybody needs mommy for no good reason at all. Dinner needs to be made but the baby needs to eat and we need to get the 6 year old ready for dance class. The 4 year old doesn't want to wear shoes and mommy just wants to lock herself in the bathroom for 5 minutes of peace and quiet. But this is when I realize that we were supposed to return the library books.

5:00 pm: Daddy comes home. Mommy runs away.

haha....ok, this is clearly an exaggeration (or maybe it isn't) of my day. Sometimes it feels like this though. I know so clearly how I want my day to go and yet, I don't always start my day with Jesus. If I did, it wouldn't necessarily mean that everything else went perfect, but it always helps.

It is having this image of what a perfect day is that makes me a feel like a failure. It is the pressure that I put on myself of what my life should look like that make it feel so impossible to be a great mom and wife.

But, it just isn't real. The real me is exactly the way that God made me. He made this life just for me. Despite the days that I feel crazy and completely unglued, I love it. I am so in love with my husband. I love my children more than I ever thought possible. I love homeschooling. I love planning. I love it. It is a mess...but it is my beautiful mess.

Maybe your life isn't as chaotic as mine...or maybe its worse. No matter the circumstance, let's try to encourage each other as mommies that we CAN do it. We can do it the way that God wants us to. We can give our days to Him and then do our best.

Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Tomorrow...when the knocking starts, I need to recite that verse and start my day by serving the Lord by serving my family. Join me, will you?

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My Perfect Life: Part 1

Every morning, I wake up and before I even open my eyes, I pray. "Lord, help me to be a woman for You today. Let me share my faith with anyone and everyone that I come in contact with and let me be the wife and mom that shows Christ in everything I do.

Then, I get out of bed,  get myself a cup of coffee and settle in for a good hour of quiet prayer time and bible reading. Thirty minutes of exhilarating exercise comes next, then I quickly take a shower (and shave my legs of course) and do my hair and make up, quietly of course, so as not to disturb my husband and children who are still sleeping.

A little while later, the husband and children awake to a hot breakfast on the table. I sit with the family and feed the baby. I'll eat my fruit and cottage cheese later.

Then the hubby heads out to work and the kids happily play while I do the dishes and clean the kitchen. We manage to get all of our homeschooling done as well as some time at the playground all before lunch.

My kids eat a perfectly balanced lunch with no complaining and then the babies settle in for naps while I spend time reading to my oldest two girls. Then, they help me with the laundry and go to back to playing while I scrub the bathrooms.

After naps, we have a healthy snack and I start dinner prep while the children have their 30 minutes of screen time...where of course, they all choose the same show to watch. PERFECT!

The hubs comes home to a hot meal on the table that tastes perfect and we all sit down and have a lovely conversation about our day.

After dinner, I do the dishes while the kids play with daddy. Then, we spend some time playing worship songs and singing together.

The kids get their baths and off to bed they go. Family devotions and then lights out. The hubby and I spend some time talking about our plans and then spend some good time reading and praying together before we turn in for the night.

The house is clean and peaceful and we all go to sleep with smiles on our faces.

The real title to this post should be, "Why I always feel like a failure", because it would be a BIG, FAT, SCARY, LIE to say that this is what happens on a daily basis...or ever for that matter. So wait for Part 2 of My Perfect Life to come in just a couple of days to find out reality!

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Five Minute Friday: Messenger

Today's Five Minute Friday word is: Messenger. This is a link up with Lisa-Jo. I will write for 5 minutes with no editing. Just five minutes of my thoughts.

Go:

When I first heard the word, "Messenger", it took me a minute to figure out what I thought. In fact, I almost skipped it altogether and just didn't write today.

And then it dawned on me. Messenger. This is what I am supposed to be. This is what God has called me to.

A messenger for Him. To spread the word of God. And once again, I almost shied away.

How often does God call us to something and we are too scared...too nervous...too afraid of what others might think and it keeps us from doing the most important thing that we can do. If we are truly loving those around us, than we should be sharing God's Word. 

I often think about how excited we get to share our good news with people. Engagements, pregnancies, jobs, graduations, birthdays, promotions, new homes...etc. We should be even more excited to share THE "Good News". 

So...join me today...be a messenger. 

STOP.

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The End of an Era

(Disclaimer: I forgot the real camera so I had to use my phone...not the best pictures)

Tom graduated this past Sunday (June 8th). He didn't want to walk in the graduation but I signed him up for it anyways. Hey....I filled out every last piece of paper work for him for the past five years so I figured he owed it to me. I think he is glad he did it too...because they had some awesome food at a reception after!

We will be married seven years this August. More than five of those years have been spent with him attending school part and full time as well as working full time for most of it. Keira was about 10 months old when he started and we have added THREE more children to our family. I brought Levi and he was an angel through the whole thing!

 To say that getting a Bachelors degree during this time was a challenge is an understatement. I am so proud of him, it is almost ridiculous!

Watching him walk across that stage was a symbol. The symbol of the end of an era.

Through it all....God sustained us.

He allowed our marriage to grow and flourish. I would be lying if I said that the stress never got to us, of course it did, but God prevailed and we were able to see it for what it was.

Stress. Not real problems, when you put it in perspective. Just hard times that we had to press on through.

Although it was hard work and perseverance from Tom, I do recognize that it was also a sacrifice on the part of me and our kids. The sacrifice of time. Time with a husband and time with a daddy.




But we knew our goal. We knew all along that this was what God wanted for us which He made abundantly clear to us several times. And we pressed on.

We made the best of what we had. Time and otherwise. And now, it is complete.

When I think back to five years ago when he just got started, it seemed like a lifetime away. It seemed impossible.

But with God. All things are possible.

Tom started his new job this week and it is wonderful. We are aware that in this world there are no promises and this too could be temporary but we know that God has a plan for us and it will be great!

If there is something that you feel God is leading you towards today, pray. And then go. Do it. You will be abundantly blessed by Him in whatever ways He wants to bless you.

This is the end of an era for us. It is also the beginning of a new one. And I am so excited to see what God brings our way next because friends....He NEVER leaves us. He NEVER forsakes us.

Follow Him and trust.

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The Power of His Love

I have recently been reminded that sometimes people can only see what they want to see in you. If someone wants to find fault with me, they will not have to look too far. And when someone looks deep into my soul, they will find a sinner. Because that is what I am. I am a sinner. A Sinner who is trying to love others and be as sinless as I can...which is impossible. It is a losing battle, but one that I need to fight daily. I am a sinner who cares deeply for my family. My Friends. My acquaintances. I am a sinner who longs to make everyone happy. I am sinner who loves Jesus. I love people. I want to do the best I can (though sometimes take on too much).  

I will never claim to be perfect. In fact, most days, I feel like a failure. I am a sinner who would never intentionally hurt anyone. I am a work in progess. I am God's work in progess. 

I am not a mind reader. I am a mother. A wife. A daughter. A Sister. A friend. 

A sinner.

I might not know God's plan for my tomorrow, but I know He has one. 

And I am not alone. You are a sinner too. (gasp!). But, friend. He has a plan for you too! People will come and go. Even people that you never thought would but He does not. Our Heavenly Father, was, is and is to come.

We sang this song at church this morning. It is older but the words have always been some of my favorite lyrics. After an exhausting weekend, I needed this today and God knew it. May you know the renewal of Jesus today. May you be led by the Spirit and find joy in each new morning.

The Power of Your Love, by Geoff Bullock

Lord I come to You, Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace that I've found in You

And Lord I've come to know the weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away by the power of Your love

Hold me close, Let Your love surround me
Bring me near, Draw me to Your side

And as I wait, I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You, Your spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love

Lord unveil my eyes, Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love as You live in me

And Lord renew my mind as Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day by the power of Your love

Photo Credit

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The Laundry Monster

Do you ever feel buried in laundry...I do...most of the time!

I actually think that I have finally found a system that works for our family right now. I have tried a few different things that have all worked at different times but right now, I am feeling like I am winning the battle...well....most days.

For the first few years of our marriage (and only 1 or 2 kids), I just did a load of laundry here and there. Some days I wouldn't do any and other days I did a couple of loads. My problem here was that I was really bad at sorting, folding and putting away. I would put Tom and my clothes away but the girls would be sleeping or something and we ended up living out of laundry baskets a lot! Also, I am only OCD about a few things in life but one of them is matching tops to bottoms with the kids clothes. I don't like to put a shirt away without its coordinating pants...so...often, they were separated in the laundry and it would be awhile before I could find the matches. Silly...I know.

Then for about a year it worked for me to do ALL of the laundry in one day of the week. It was the only "chore" I would do that day but as each load came out of the dryer, it would get folded and as soon as that kids rooms was free, it was put away. That worked for a while but when I did have something else to do that day, I would get behind and it was nearly impossible to catch up.

Then...Levi was born. My snugly, content, happy, giggly love-bug....who happens to have a diaper explosion AT LEAST once a day!

I needed a new system. For a while, I just did laundry all the time again and it never seemed to be caught up. But, because I was constantly doing his laundry, I realized how much easier it was that all of his laundry stayed together. It came from his hamper, down to the laundry, then folded and back to his room.

So, I adapted this system for the rest of the house. The girls laundry (because they all share a room) stays together. Every day, I do a laundry for a different room of the house. If I have time, I will get two rooms done in  a day but it has made a world of difference.

Once each bedrooms laundry is done, I will do whites and towels. It works great!

I finally have stopped feeling overwhelmed by laundry and this really helps with my matching clothes OCD.

Now....If I could figure out how to make socks stop separating from each other that would be great!

Comment below with ideas and tell me how you win your battle with The Laundry Monster!

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Five Minute Friday: Close

Today's Five Minute Friday word is Close. For more information on what Five Minute Friday is, check out Lisa-Jo's blog and it explains more....basically...Five minutes of unedited writing on a certain word or phrase. So here's my five minutes today:

The word close has so many different meanings to me. The first thing that comes to mind is my relationship with my children. I want to be close to them, I want them to be close to me. My hope is that they will share with me and I with them and that we will always feel comfortable in that way.

I love to be physically close to them as well...the snuggles I get daily are amazing. Baby boy LOVES to be held and often nuzzles his face into my neck and shoulder. He pulls my face to his and gives me sloppy baby kisses and I can't get enough of it. My girls each need their own snuggle time with me too. Often, we read together all snuggled up on the couch.

Sometimes I find that when they are especially grumpy or whiny, really all they need is some time on my lap.

I pray that as sisters and brother, they remain close to each other through the years and always have an encouraging relationship with each other.

Of course, I have my moments each and every day where "close" starts to feel like I am being smothered and I have to take a deep breath and remember how wonderful these snuggles really are and someday I will miss them!

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Praise Him!

God's plans are so much bigger and better than ours. The end.

No really, I am sitting here amazed right now at God's provision for us as a family. Last Tuesday night (May 13), Tom took his last final exam. He graduates on June 8th and praise be to God, he was offered a Job that begins June 9! A good job. A career Job...doing what he wants to do. I am unbelievably proud of him as this is a huge accomplishment. Most of the last five years he spent working on his Bachelor's degree in Computer Programming (including summers). All but nine months of that, he worked full time. Keira was a baby when he started and since we have added three kids to our family. And...he has great grades. Yay Tom!

I wrote last month that I had no idea what a "normal life" would feel like and I am starting to experience that now. Tom is home after work, the kids get to spend so much more time with daddy and we are able to sit down as a family and eat dinner together on a much more regular basis. It's the little things folks.

But the thing that I am most amazed about is how over the last few months, I have not been very anxious at all about our unknown future. Sure, I had moments of panic, but they really were fleeting. It became second nature to just pray in those moments and I really did just feel a peace that could only come from the Lord. With so much up in the air, I was determined to focus on the fact that God has never left us and He never will.

I could write forever about all of the ways that God has provided for our needs in the last 5 years since Tom started school...well, really the last 6 years since Keira was born but the things that have happened most recently are the things that are standing out in this moment.

The fact that Tom lost his job a year and a half ago turned into the biggest part of God's plan is amazing. That is the only reason why he was able to graduate already. Then, he got a well paying co op that started last September and not only provided for us financially, but was also able to count as college credit. Another reason why he was able to graduate now. That was also supposed to end last Friday but they asked him to stay on a bit longer. This means that we will not have a single week without pay. CRAZY! God is so good.  (although, a week without work would have had its perks!)

We were mentally prepared for a lot of different scenarios...to move away if needed, to have time without a career, maybe doing any job that he could find, To have to take more classes to get qualified in other areas...

...but God has answered. We get to stay here, near our family, near our friends and in our church....at least for now. God is amazing and I am so thankful!

I realize that things can change in a moment and that God's plans for us could once again change but for now, it feels amazing.

One thing that I have really learned is that getting anxious or stressed about each situation really doesn't help. It doesn't change anything. Prayer does. Let Him ease your anxieties. Cast your cares on Jesus. He is never going to let you go!

Now on to the next big decisions....to continue renting...or buy a home...hmmmm.

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From Laziness to Servanthood

Up until recently, I really did live my life to be lazy. Now, when I say that, you must let me explain before you judge me! haha.

Most mornings, I would wake up and work really hard all morning to get all of my "chores" done and even get dinner going. I would literally try to accomplish all necessary tasks before lunch so that after lunch, when the girls (at the time, I only had 2) would take their nap, I could do whatever I wanted and not feel guilty. Most of the time, this is when I would sit and work on a craft, read a book for pure enjoyment or even occasionally watch a TV show while perusing Facebook. It was MY time to do whatever I wanted and it kind of gave me a restart.

Well...that has all changed...especially this year...and I didn't see it coming! Over the last 2 years, I have obviously added 2 more children to the family, the two oldest no longer nap, I am homeschooling and I have more house to clean and more people to feed.

For a big part of this school year, I was still trying to [unsuccessfully] attain this goal each day. I was getting a bit frustrated as I had grown accustomed to having "me" time each day. Even when Keira and Libby stopped napping and I had Janessa, I still managed to squeak in minutes of relaxing down time because of my girls awesome ability to play quietly together and my great sleeper of a baby.

So this year, having the goal to really work on this blog in the afternoons during "my" time, I was really getting frustrated.

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And than it hit me. I am a servant. I am called to be a servant of God and He has given me 4 beautiful little kiddos that need me to serve them.

When I wake up the morning, my time is theirs. None of them are really old enough to be completely self-sufficient though I know that time is coming. They need me...

...and it's wonderful.

Often, we don't even get around to doing Kindergarten until my two little ones are napping and that's ok. Often, I can't even get dinner started before Tom walks in the door, because I need to feed Levi right at that time. I spend time in the morning, afternoon and evening doing LOTS of dishes only to do it all again tomorrow. I can clean the Kitchen, the dining room, the playroom and the living room only to have to immediately start over again because the mess has reappeared

This is my job and I love it. This is what God called me to. Now I am trying to wake up each morning to whatever faces me with a new understanding that I am called to something higher than having "me" time. I get to spend my day being a servant of God, shaping the lives of my four little blessings!

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Modest Mommy

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In thinking so much lately about how to teach my girls modesty, it has also made me think about what that should mean as a mommy. 

We should be living by example for our daughters, right? Not just telling them why and how to dress but also dressing appropriately ourselves. 

There is also a balance between looking modest and looking nice for our husbands. While I don't feel that I have issues with dressing in an modest way, I think that my problem is my desire to live in pajama pants an a t-shirt. haha. It wouldn't kill me to look a little bit nicer sometimes and when I do, it usually makes me feel better!

However, recently, I overheard a conversation while sitting in a waiting room on this topic and it really made me think. 

The two women (neither of which I know) were talking about how women should dress "sexy" for their man. Although I would not completely disagree with them, I also believe that word can have many meanings. To me, when I hear that word, it means provocatively. While I believe that there are for sure times IN PRIVATE that this is not a bad thing for us to do, I think that women today, even Christian women, are crossing a line. 

There is not a need to be showing certain parts of your body in a public setting.  What are you trying to accomplish by doing so? I have noticed lately how many women walk around in public (grocery store, mall, restaurants...etc.) with super low cut shirts and/or a skirts or shorts that leave little to the imagination. 

You can argue that men should be able to control themselves and this is their issue, not ours, but I think that God has called women to something higher than that. 

Romans 14:13 "Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother." (The rest of this through verse 20 is also great on the topic)

Please, sister in Christ, do not think that I am passing judgement on you. Although modesty may not be my top issue (although I am sure there are times that I unknowingly wear something that maybe I shouldn't) I come with my own issues. We are all sinful or there would be no issues but we are to strive for perfection even though it is unattainable.

What I am asking is to think twice about what you are putting on. If your low cut top is your favorite, stick a cami underneath. Think about why you love it. Why does it make you feel beautiful? Are you looking for attention from your body?

Let's not cause our brothers in Christ to stumble and let us teach our daughters the same....or our friends daughters, or our nieces...you get the picture. Let's teach our sons  and nephews and so on to love a woman from the inside out rather than aiding this World with the perverse things that is already accepts. 

In the Culture we are exposed to on a daily basis, we have to work twice as hard to teach modesty because it is not being modeled almost anywhere else. 

Let's stick together and be a "Modest Mommy".

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Five Minute Friday: Mighty

Today's word for five minute Friday is "Mighty". When I think of this word, it just immediately brings songs to my head. Maybe it's because I love love love worship music. Maybe its because I feel like so much of my measly little life is Mighty compared to God. Maybe it's because I don't feel like it is even possible for me to do anything "mighty".

But God....Oh He is Mighty.

"...He is Mighty to Save"...
"...What a Mighty God we serve..."
"...Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God..."

But what does it really mean. I am not sure if this is cheating in terms of the 5 minute Friday rules of not editing but I just looked up the definition and some synonyms for the word:

Mighty
1) possessing great and impressive power or strength, esp. on account of size.
2) extremely

Fearsome, ferocious, exceedingly, enormously, immensely, tremendously, hugely.


We cannot even begin to imagine how "Mighty" our God is.

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Let's Get Healthy

So....here we are....back from our Florida trip and back to reality. The reality is that now it is time to focus on what we are eating. For several reasons, Tom and I have been "searching" for years for a healthy way of eating that works for our lifestyle. We believe we have found it. We started changing a few things in the last month or so and can definitely see that it will work for us as a whole a family.

I was introduced to the book "Trim Healthy Mama"  (THM) and read it, in its entirely, in a very short amount of time. It makes so much sense to me. It's not a fad. It's not about gross food. It's not something that requires me to change my eating habits but continue to feed everyone else in the house the wrong food. It is realistic. It teaches you why eating a certain way is better and it is not about getting skinny. It is about getting healthy and that is what we want.

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Like with any lifestyle change, it is hard. It is going to be a learning process for Tom and myself but I am really excited to go full force and see the healthy changes in our entire family.

One thing that really bothers me about trying to change eating habits is how hard it is for us as moms. The more we want to eat the right things, the more time we have to spend thinking about food.

I tease my hubby because he says he has no problem going full force 100% on a new eating plan. Of course he doesn't. I am the one who buys his food and prepares it for him. I told him that I need to go to work so eating healthy is easier! hee hee.

So anyways, I will likely be posting any new and helpful information that I find. Please pray for us as we embark on this new journey. I need the prayers to stick with it as I know that this is what God wants for our family for many different reasons.

I am sick of diets that don't work and that aren't really healthy. I am ready for a life change! I highly recommend this book if you are looking for a change. It makes total sense and has so many healing qualities for various illnesses or medical problems that you may be experiencing.

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Five Minute Friday: Choose

Today's word for 5 minute Friday is Choose...so here goes my five minutes of unedited writing!

When I think of the word Choose, I am reminded that it is in almost every moment that I make a choice. We choose how we spend our moments. We choose each thing we say to our children. We choose every food we put in our mouths. We choose what attitude we will have about the circumstances before us. We choose how we will see other people. 

On the days that I am consumed with things like a clean house, perfect children, a good attitude, what I eat, self-pity, and the like, I fail over and over again. Because we simply cannot accomplish it all. 

What we need to do is wake up every morning and choose Jesus. 

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Yes, all of those other things are all good and not bad things at all to do  in our lives, but as mommy's, I think we tend to become consumed in them....and then, we are really doing no one, including ourselves, our husbands or our children, any favors. 

So join me, in trying harder to wake up and choose Jesus each day. On the days that I consciously do this, I find that I am a more content person and all of that other stuff falls into place. 

Linked up here with Five Minute Friday

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Worship Wednesday: Every Good Thing

I have heard this song on the radio many many times but it wasn't until recently that I really listened to the words and what the song was about. It was one of those moments that it just hit me in the face.  Although the song isn't necessarily my "style", the lyrics are so true...especially to me. Please take a minute to read them and the truth that God is the reason for EVERY GOOD THING!!

"Every Good Thing"--The Afters

I tend to be busier than I should be
And I tend to think that time is gonna wait for me
Sometimes I forget and take for granted
That it's a beautiful life we live
I don't wanna miss the moments like this
This is a beautiful life You give

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You're the reason for every good thing, every heartbeat
Every day we get to breathe
You're the reason for anything that lasts, every second chance
Every laugh, life is so sweet
You're the reason for every good thing, every good thing
Every good thing, every good thing...

There will be days that give me more than I can take
But I know that You always make beauty from my heartache
Don't wanna forget or take for granted
That it's a beautiful life we live
I'm not gonna miss the moments like this
This is a beautiful life You give

It's our family, it's our friends
It's the feeling that I get when I see my children smile
You're the reason for this life, everything we love
It's  You alive in us
You're alive in us

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