Grace flows down

I have been trying to put into words how I have been feeling lately. Overwhelmed is an understatement. I am still adjusting to so many aspects in our lives. Having a 4th child. having a 19 month old who looks for trouble...for real...she does. Moving in 2 weeks. Having a husband who is out of the home a LOT very suddenly...doing things that he needs to do right now which will benefit the whole family. It's all good...it's just a lot.

I am blessed that when the hubby is here, he is a hands on daddy. Last weekend, he allowed me the time to go and hear Lysa Terkheurst speak. For those of you who do not know who she is, she is an author and works with Proverbs 31 ministries. I have read a few of her books and am now currently reading "Am I messing up my kids" by her. It is hilarious and so full of God's truth.

I digress. Lately, I just felt completely crazy. I feel pulled in every direction and have really been having a hard time with discipline in our home. The kids are still adjusting to not having daddy home all of the time too and it is hard. Sometimes, I feel like going into the bathroom (only room with a lock) and just staying in there all day. No worries...I don't! In fact, I usually don't even get to shower or use the bathroom by myself these days! haha.

So, tonight, as I was doing the dishes and listening to worship music, Keira decided to climb INTO the refrigerator...yes...into the fridge! Why...I will never know, but of course she fell out...landed on the floor (she was fine) and I lost it. I should add that this came after Libby fell down the stairs because she was climbing on the railing and Levi pooped all over himself, his clothes and the car seat. Yep, just one of those days....but seriously I just started crying. And then I started praying. and then I started singing along with the music on the radio.

After about 10 minutes, I heard a quiet voice say.."mommy, can I get out of time out yet". Ooops!
We talked together and we prayed together and I apologized for screaming at her.

I know that this won't be the last time that I feel bad for the way I react to her but as I went back to washing the dishes, a song came on that spoke volumes to me.

Grace Flows Down. I highly recommend listening to it. But  the words are so simple and true. His grace covers us. We do not have to be perfect. We just need Jesus. We need to be so full of Jesus that is spills out of us. But when we do mess up or have a bad day, a bad attitude or just plain don't like the cards we've been dealt that day, we have Grace. It covers us. And I am so thankful for that.


Amazing Grace 
How sweet the sound 
Amazing Love 
Now flowing down 
From hands and feet 
That were nailed to the tree 
As Grace flows down and covers me 
Chorus 
It covers me 
It covers me 
It covers me 
And covers me

Moving

We are moving.

Since Tom and I married 6 year and 2 months ago, we have lived in FIVE different places so you'd think I'd be a pro by now...but I am far from it. We have NEVER been organized when moving and I really wanted it to be different this time.

In March of 2008, we moved from our little one bedroom apartment to a townhouse. I was 6 months pregnant and as soon as we moved, I came down with Pneumonia. We had never even finished unpacking from getting married so moving was VERY disorganized....then we added all of the much needed baby items.

The next year, Tom's brother was going to move in with us for a year so we needed an extra bedroom. Because of the timing of leases, we first had to move in with my parents for 1 month. At this time, I was having gallbladder issues (undiagnosed at the time) and was really sick. So...we packed (or threw) things in boxes (again in a super disorganized manner) and put it all in my parents garage for a month.

One month later, we moved into a larger townhouse.  One week after that, I had gallbladder surgery and yet one month after that, found out we were expecting our second child. You can imagine that none of this helped with giving me time to reorganize or sort things out...so we kind of just lived in a mess.

One year later, Libby was six weeks old and we were yet again preparing to move to the duplex where we now live. I was geared up to pack things we wanted, throw things away, donate, organize and finally unpack those wedding gifts I had never used! Then Libby came down with RSV and ended up in the hospital for a week! This truly was one of the worst weeks of my life.

So, once again, it came down to shoving things in boxes and moving junk to yet another house.

Now, we have been in the same place for almost 4 years...but in two weeks, we are moving once again. Of course this comes at a time when life is crazy but I think I have just come to realize that life is always going to be crazy.

We have been packing every night. Putting things at the curb every week. Selling things on Craiglist like mad and making lists galore. I somewhat expect things to go terribly wrong in the next week because that is what I am used to but also believe that God has great things in store for us.

I am truly thankul for the opportunity we have to move to a house with a little more space and lot more yard for us. It is going to be a great blessing and we are all very excited. We have been doing some painting at the new place and have a bunch more to do but it is fun making it feel like home even before we live there.

I just want to encourage any of you that feel each day like there is no way you can possibly accomplish what you need to. Just take a deep breath and take one step at a time. God carries us through. He will make a way.

And if worse comes to worse...it takes a bit longer than you hoped to get to the end point.

Yes, I feel crazy but I am really trying to lean on God each minute of the day. It will all get done one way or another. Someday, my kids will be old enough to help with stuff like this but for now, I am just going to appreciate what God has provided for us.

(Before and after pictures of our new home to come soon...we are having fun transforming things!)

Faithful God

On Sunday, we sang the song "Faithful God" at church as part of worship and it just reminded me of just how faithful our God really is. If you don't know it, I urge you to listen to the words. Every time we sing it, It just makes me so grateful for all that our amazing Lord does for us.

This past year has been especially crazy for our family. Tom lost his job, Janessa had surgery, I was pregnant and so many other things were happening at the same time, and now....looking back, it is just amazing to see how God had a great plan for us and we are so much better off with His plan that our plan would have been.

In a few weeks, we will be moving to a new home and I cannot wait to post pictures of the before and afters and give a few more details on how this all came about but for now, I will leave you with a link to this song and urge you to listen and think about how Faithful God has been in your life through the situations that you thought would be impossible.

The truth about Parenting

I have three words that describe to me the truth about parenting.

It is HARD!

My days have become non-stop. I realize that I have a newborn and this is normal but even that aside, it seems like when he does not need me, someone else does. 

I LOVE them so much more than I could have ever imagined being able to love and with each child, the love just continues to multiply. 

But some days, I want to give up. 

When people pull me aside and tell me that We are doing a great job with our kids, I want to laugh and cry all at the same time! Do I sound crazy?!?!?!

The thing is, I know that I am not alone. I know that MOST parents feel this way. 

Kids have definitely taught me that being sinful is not something that is taught but comes completely naturally to us. We spend our days teaching our children to do the right thing..hoping and praying that they will...and sometimes they do...and sometimes they don't. 

It never ceases to amaze me how many precious moments I can have with my children each day and yet in the same day how many moments I have that I just want to lock myself in the bathroom (only room with a lock in our house) and turn on the water so I can't hear them. 

I struggle with being "gentle" with my children. Now...please don't take that the wrong way, I don't beat them or anything, just mean having a gentle demeanor. I want my girls to grow up to be ladies. I want them to be treated like ladies and I want my son to know how to cherish and really care for his future wife. But lately, I have felt so out of control. 

I am completely and totally looking forward to going to see Lysa TerKeurst talk about her book "Unglued" in early November...because that is exactly how I feel right now on a daily basis. 

You might ask what my purpose in writing this post was...well...maybe it is for you, and maybe it is for someone else, but I just want the other mommies who are feeling crazy sometimes to know that they are not alone.  

Romans 8:28 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.